Simply Sarah

2012-02-21T08:39:00.001-08:00

Its all the same right?

2012-02-16T14:53:00.000-08:00

Let me explain...the difference between San Diego and Mammoth Lakes.

VS.

Please laugh at this.

The sky lift operator called me "pinky."

When Words are not Enough

2012-02-13T11:28:00.000-08:00

Do you have any idea how many posts I have started and not been able to finish? Posts that were too boring, too personal, too factual, too emotional, too logical, too unchristian, too preachy, too selfish.

I can't write that because my mom will read it, my grandparents will read it, my co-workers will read it, my writer friends will read it, guys will read it and think I'm pathetic, girls will read it and think I'm bragging.

There are a lot of great reasons not to write your heart. There are a lot of great reasons not to be vulnerable. There are also a lot of great reasons to not do a lot of things we love. And that's how we get to that place. We put ourselves in small and stuffy traps. Security. Protection. Above all we must be perfectly approved of by all! We must be liked. Adored even. By the masses.

We want to be on the ledge, but we must remain on the safest ledge.

There is so much to say, so many ways to say it, and never the right words. I have been trying to write a witty Valentines Day post for about a week. I mean, how appropriate? I own a wedding cinematography business. It is literally my job to listen and tell love story after love story and don't get me wrong: its bliss. And the hours of editing and headaches and stress and passion are truly worth it when I get to press play for the bride and groom. Because when they are watching their film, I am watching them. I am thinking about my grandparents with 52 years and my parents with 25. I am thinking about how the bride and groom are sitting where they are sitting. And the hours of prayer and counsel and time it took for them to get to the day where they pledge a life to each other; the only life they have, and its to each other. I am watching the beginning. I am watching the end. I am watching stories happen before my eyes and its almost too much to comprehend the weight of it. You are jumping off a ledge.

Too dramatic?

Have you ever noticed how much people downplay what its like when you first start dating someone? You ask them how its going and their like, "good." Or you ask newly weds what marriage is like and their like, "Its great." I'm sorry...what? Its going "good" and your new marriage is "great." I KNOW THERE IS MORE GOING ON AND HOW DARE YOU NOT SHARE YOUR SECRETS OF THE CLUB?! I know full well you are experiencing a mild form of schizophrenia, insomnia, and mania. Not to mention the oxytocin, norepinephrine, and serotonin explosion that is factually happening in your brain on a biological level. Do NOT argue with me.

Here's a fun fact, did you know that when you're entering a relationship/ "falling in love," your brain releases extreme levels of oxytocin and norepinephrine.
Oxytocin is known as the "attachment drug" and norepinephrine causes an increase in blood pressure, adrenaline, a suppressed appetite, and pumps crazy amounts of hormones into your bloodstream.

But get this, the serotonin part of your "love" doesn't kick in until at least one year after marriage. That's the feelings of well-being and security. i.e. You are out of control in your head until this point.

So let me ask again, how is your budding relationship? That's what I thought. Now let's talk the real story. And for the record, I don't think romantic relationships are the end all be all to life. I think that story is relevant, in as much as it points to the bigger story.

I think that's why I hate and love Valentines Day. Its stands for a cool thing, but when you know what's really going on, who wants Russell Stover chocolates? And even when I know there's a bigger story, I'm watching people kicking rocks from the ledge, peering over the side to see what their getting into. It's a risk. It's a mess. It's a ledge.

And words will never be enough.

Single Serving Friends

2012-02-10T16:17:00.000-08:00

Airplane passengers. Can't live em, could live a lifetime without em. But man do they make for some good stories. Take the Dallas trip for instance. November of last year, I am flying Southwest and forget to "check-in" exactly 24 hours before the flight. This predestined me an aisle seat in the very back, next to Bernard the cat. I sit down and glance at the teeny bopper in the window seat and the first thing she says to me is, "This is Bernard, my cat. Bernard is afraid of flying." Perfect. I am sitting next to a howling cat, afraid of flights, in the back of the plane. And that is the moment I smell it. Bernard is defecating. Everywhere. The rest of the flight consists of teeny bopper constantly rearranging Bernard, including one episode where she literally turned his cage unside-down. The flight was nothing short of tumultuous, for both Bernard...and myself.

Then there was Jesse. Or what I remember his name to be-respectively. He had the window seat, me the middle, and Jesse was on his connecting flight through Birmingham to Nashville. He was 23, distant, he name-dropped, and looked "Nashville hipster." I don't remember his real name, only Jesse, which was my first guess for him when we decided to guess each others names. This was, of course, after mutually connecting over my favorite book, "Extrememly Loud and Incredibly Close," which I was reading for the 2nd time on my flight home from Dallas (and I don't read books more than once). Jesse guessed my name on the first guess. Are you amazed, bewilldered, thinking I'm exaggerating detail for a good story? Guess again. I was just as surprised, hence the immediate response, "What up, Soul Mate." And when he looked at me like I had just told him he was my Edward Cullen, I quickly added, "Totally kidding." Which I definitely was, but then again, it was a risky move using sarcasm with a stranger. We didn't talk the rest of the flight.

Then there was Bill. Oh Bill. Fat Bill. He should have purchased 2 tickets for himself in order to be seated comfortably, but unfortunately, Southwest does not award priority or specialty seating to individuals with unhealthy eating choices. ("Omg Tharah, he might have a ditheathe." Benefit of the doubt or not, there was HUGE problem, if you know what I mean.) He felt it was his divine right to not only hog the armrest and comfortable leg room, but to offer his services in eating my peanuts, "if I was finished." By all means!

But one of my favorites was Steve. He was a corporate executive. The slip-off-his-wedding-ring-when-he-travels kind of man. He checked out the flight attendants as he talked and entirely ignored all hints that I might want to enjoy my book and continued pushing political topics down my throat such as health care, Obama, and economic depression. I eventually gave up and resorted to muttering "very fascinating" every now and then keep him rolling.

Oh and how could I forget the NYC trip? My mom is by far the best flight passenger, probably because she is not single-serving. She gets excited at the same times I do, looks out the window at the interesting things, and squeezes my hand when we take off, which at 22, is still assuring enough to make me want to ball my eyes out.

And then of course there was yesterday. I don't know his name, because he didn't talk. He hair looked like he had just woken up and he smelled like he hadn't showered in days. He was reading a book with the chapter heading, "Mortals."I felt sad by the way people looked at him, like he wasn't worth anything. I never heard him say a word, even when the flight attendant asked him if he wanted anything to drink. So there's that.

Maybe if I could learn to keep my mouth shut, like him, I wouldn't end up with all these characters, but then again, would I want to pass em' up? No way. In the next 2 weeks, I have no less than 4 plane rides and 3 layovers. I don't if know my single serving friends are ready.

Are We Living or Dying?

2012-02-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Can I tell you a huge secret? I'm tempted to think that life is mostly awful. Mostly hard. And mostly disappointing. Stick with me in this one, ok? A lot of times I feel like I've been given useless passions. I feel things too deeply. I get too emotionally invested in people and events that were never promised to me or things I was never told would be mine. I feel hard pressed on every side, crushed, perplexed, struck down, persecuted, abandoned, alone, useless, destroyed, unloved, and pointless. As a matter of fact, I can get so obsessed with myself that I start thinking...

Is life just a series of disappointments? Is each day just one step closer to dying? At the end of the day, is life mostly just hard?

2 Corinthians 4:7-12

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is

from God and not from us.

8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;

9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that

the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake,

so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.

12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."

Life is at work in you. Do you know that? Do you feel it? In life, there are great disappointments, but in life, there is so much joy. Joy in the hard work, in the heartbreak, and in the suffering. We love deeply and are loved back deeply. Then we have our hearts broken. We get great jobs and we have horrible jobs. We have rich friendships that make us who we are and we have friendships that strip the core fibers of our trust, strength, and worth. We hold small pink and blue blankets and play with children and experience an incredibly simple kind of joy, then we fall in love for the first time and feel the most complex facets of love.

We have routines that make us who we are. Coffee, reading, laundry, cooking, family, work, TV. And then we have those moments that are not only unique, but moments that change us forever. Like being made fun of for being fat in the 3rd grade, getting your tooth punched out my your sister while playing tea party, sitting in the drivers seat for the first time, getting your first kiss, bowing as an audience of people claps for you, holding your college diploma, clutching your Dad's arm as you walk down the aisle, getting on a plane, the one ocean sunset, or saying good-bye for the last time.

And sometimes its the most simple events that remind you of what's important. Like watching a show with your roommates and realize for the first time: you are known. They "get you." Or the satisfaction of sitting around a campfire with coffee, blankets, friends, and stories. Or watching the fireworks over Cinderella's castle at Disney World with your family and realizing you never really stop being a kid.

I found an old diary from when I was 8 the other day, as I was packing up boxes. I wrote a story called "The Dream World." Surprise surprise. I used to write about dreams. The story was about a girl who was actually able to get inside her dreams and manipulate real life via the world that went on inside her dreams. As I was reading the story, I actually remembered what I was thinking and feeling as I was writing that story at 8 years old. And I still feel like that same girl. I am still 8, wanting to live inside a country of my own. A country...that is not here. The best part is, I don't have that desire for nothing. That desire came from a place where, one day, I. Will. Be. Satisfied.

Life is hard, but life is beautiful.

And I think at some point, a choice must be made.
Is each day going to be one step closer to dying, or one step closer to living?

Do you want to know another secret? In my heart of hearts, I don't believe that life is awful. I feel its worth. I know my purpose here. And its not to create a country of my own. Its to live in the one I've been given, looking to the coming country that will deeply, fully, richly, and perfectly satisfy me. For now, I will give of myself, I will die to myself, I will choose love, I will choose experience over hiding, and I will choose risk in spite of fear. I will choose to trust, to seek, to try, and to try again. I will get up every day, reminding myself that I am not here for happiness and completion. I am here to glorify a Name that has promised to never leave us, nor forsake us. I choose life.

So let me ask you a question: Are you living or are you dying? That is your choice.

"Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free."

-Shawshank Redemption

"Parenthood" in my NOT so "Modern Family"

2012-02-02T08:53:00.000-08:00

Someone please tell me. What is a "normal" family? Lately I've gotten obsessed with the show "Parenthood." They have such a messy, broken, argumentative family, but at the end of the day, they have each others' backs. And its gotten me thinking about my family. There are things I do with my family that I don't even realize are weird, because we've always done it that way.

Like, when I'm at home, I may or may not wake up running downstairs so we can analyze each others' dreams over coffee before we forget. Weird? No. Totally awesome. Especially when my dream involves 3 members of the spanish mafia, scheming together to get their heads scalped by sharks that are hanging from their fins in a slaughter house. Last night, I woke up just at the part where one of the mofia members is running around looking for the top part of his head...surely that is not a reflection of my life right now.

We are a crazy mix of very large personalities. Honestly, I don't know how they all fit in one kitchen. But if there I could pinpoint the ONE thing ole' momsie and popsicle (*Wicked reference, not names we use) gave me and Kelley, it is our insane ability to talk bout ANYTHING. We can man our way through conflict resolution like a ninja.

Think about these people. This is my family.

My Dad: a Lawyer/counselor/pastor/ex-military Dad. He goes to the gym Tuesday/Thursdays and runs M/W/F. Exactly. He always answers the phone, always has the right thing to say, and is always the smartest person in the room. He takes a stance- with his legs a certain distance from each other and his arms crossed, when he is preparing himself to say something emotional. It is the most wonderful thing. He picked fights when he was in high school and college, because secretly, I think he loves punching things. He is serious, loyal, refuses to dance, an analyzer, a critic, and has been known occasionally to throw his arms up in the air, stuck his tongue outside his mouth and make this undefinable bird vomiting noise. This is my dad.

My Mom: a Interior decorator/proverbs 31 woman/business head Mom. She is completely and totally out of control in the best way possible. Always has new, exciting, creative ideas. She owns her own business, can make anyone feel comfortable in her home, cooks like Giada de Laurentiis, and has been known to make drastic and sudden changes in the way she has decided to view life. She loves to dance, play, and bounce of the walls singing, but can be ready to talk about the meaning of life at the drop of a hat. Our wittiness could match that of the Gilmore Girls if necessary and there is no one else in this world that can make me feels better/worse about myself. She is God-fearing, driven, and hard-working.

I have been told that I am the smashing together of my mom and dad into one person.

Mom + Dad = me. I know they taught this in sex ed. But let's be real, not all kids turn out like this.

Which brings me to Kelley, (when did this post turn into a monologue about my family?)

Me: shhhh Kelley. If you do exactly what I say, one day, you can be a ninja.

My Younger Sister: She is my mom on steroids + whipped cream + sarcasm. My younger sister, who nicknames everything with me including our extremely obese cat. (Ben, Baby Bringy, Gutten, Fat, Poor, Hen, chicken, Cluck-cluck) Don't ask questions. We are who we are. She is totally free, fun, playful and totally against anything serious including school, work, and theology. She is a package of happiness, a quick laugher, a hot temper, and absolutely hilarious. It doesn't matter how many times I remind her, she will always forget to unlock my side of our Jack-and-Jill bathroom, making me go ALL THE WAY AROUND. Its not that big of a deal until you've spent the better part of a morning drinking coffee, engaged in a conversation too good to leave, when suddenly....BATHROOM. NEED IT. IMMEDIATELY...

"Kelley, you locked my door again you terrible sister that only thinks about herself I'm so mad because I'm peeing on myself and its your fault!!!" Followed by a massive fight that is irrationally intense, following by a 2 second convo an hour later, "Hey we good?" "Yeah, totes good."When we were little, she would come up behind me and hit a toy over my head as hard as possible because she was..."curious what would happen." And when I hit her back, I would get in trouble because I was "older and knew better." We are 2 completely different people, but share the same heart. It's awesome.

This is my family. Imagine all of this. Waking up in the morning. and analyzing dreams.

What's your family like? Are you the smashing of your parents? Or do feel totally adopted?

Disney World Vacation. This is so classic.

Me: Hey Kelley, do this.

Kelley: OK! Yay! We are awkward.

Dad: I feel self-consious/if we take one more vacation family photo I'm going to personally throw the camera off Cinderella's Castle.

Small Things

2012-01-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

A couple things.

Source: tripadvisor.com via Kelley on Pinterest

1. I love Publix low fat tiramisu frozen yogurt. I go through roughly a gallon per week. Why did I just admit that?
2. I love Southwest, even though they aren't really international.
3. This is the most amazing Mom blog EVER. It's called Calling All Cool Moms. And to be real, even guys would love this. She is just so...cool.

Yo. Have a great week. I, however, will not see the light of day because I will be up to my eyeballs in pizza. Delicious or terrible? You decide.

The 20-somethings' Syndrome

2012-01-27T14:20:00.000-08:00

I am a 20-something. I've heard that term my whole life and always thought of how old/gay it sounded. All those movies with "young professionals" or "20-somethings," and now...I am one of "those people."

"Are you married?"

"Oh no no. I'm a young professional."

HA. Just kidding. I would NEVER call myself that. Here's the deal. When one graduates from college, 1 of 3 things happens:

A. You get married.

B. You immediately go to grad school.

C. You enter a quarter life crisis. (dramatic? not at all.)

This quarter life crisis is actually a syndrome, which I plan to get written into the DSM-V for diagnostic criteria of disorders. (Are you impressed?)

THE 20-SOMETHING SYNDROME

This syndrome is characterized by the presence of the majority of these symptoms:

A. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly everyday, as indicated by either subjunctive

report (e.g. feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (appears tearful).

*examples include crying at kittens, family moments, and Statefarm commercials. (What? They'll always be

on my side.)

B. Persistent desires to both kiss and slap everything that is male simultaneously.

*Results show that this particular symptom can remain constant throughout most the individual's adult life

C. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive and inappropriate guilt over having not selected a

career

*examples, which are strictly hypothetical, could include making decisions to go into the health care

profession when you have an indescribably horrific fear of needles

D. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly everyday, especially

in matters pertaining to where to live, work, and play (rhyme?)

E. Desire to both be married instantly/settle down or remain single forever and travel

the world. These feelings can often occur simultaneously or change haphazardly and

spontaneously, all based on simple facebook statuses.

*this symptom can be marked by an abnormal desire to be around planes and luggage.

*can also be marked by a period of awkward dates and scoffing at words like "wedding" and "intimacy."

F. A tendency to experience a hostile dependence on parents, feelings of weakness, inadequacy,

and financial instability

*results show that yelling "I have a pointless degree" at your parents does not instill a sense of mutually

bonding, but instead, awards you a car insurance bill.

So there it is. Sounds familiar? You are not alone. Its not an easy place to be, but it has awarded the position of giving you tips. So...I do not advise cutting off all your hair and dying it red.

I also do not advise calling ex-boyfriends.

And last but not least, I do not, I repeat, I DO NOT advise watching the Notebook during your quarter life crisis. You will be left crying on the floor with a 1/2 box of used tissues, saying to yourself, "If only I had someone to build ME a house." Its not pretty. And I want to live in a log cabin in the mountains anyway. Take that, Noah.

How to Never Get a Girlfriend

2012-01-25T08:21:00.000-08:00

I know what your thinking, "Dude, finally someone wrote a guide for everything I need in life. I just have so.many.women." I know I know. This is for you.

Are the kind of guy that always has amazing and stunningly gorgeous girlfriends?

Do you find that no matter what you do, girls fall in love with every move you make?

Are the kind if guy that is like, "Can I cut a break? I just need a night without an amazing date."

If you answer yes to these questions, this guide is for you. You're welcome. This will help you get rid of fantastic, life-giving, confident women.

1. Only talk to super hott, sexy, perfect women that deserve to be magazine-cover-models. The kind of woman that makes you weak in the knees and so nervous you contemplate what would be more fun when talking to them...throwing up, or saying "what's you're name"?

2. Only talk about sports, politics, your car, and yourself. Bring up various strategies of baseball, football, and basketball. Make derogatory comments about our governors, health care, and abortion, but don't propose solution. Only problems. And constantly talk about yourself. ALL.THE.TIME. Oh yeah, say things like "The torque converter automatic on the new engine to the compression ratio is so sick man, sick."

3. Initiate communication as infrequently as possible. Act like she is a total bore. and if she texts you, don't text her back for hours. Heck, give it days. Don't be assertive. Let her do all the initiating until she finally gives up.

4. Don't ever flirt! Do not compliment her. Do not touch her on the arm. Be serious, nervous, and up-tight. And heavens, do not appear laid back, confident, and playful.

5. Constantly talk about how hot other girls are. Rate them on a scale of 1-10. This is perfect because it makes girls so enraged and self-conscious you be fending the good ones off like crazy.

6. Be really close-minded about everything you discuss and hold to your opinions like you hold onto the remote. They're yours and nothing she says or does will change that.

7. Do not help her with anything, but appear super needy. If she needs help lifting boxes, fixing her car, repairing her computer, don't even attempt to help. But when she's busy, appear SUPER needy. Calling her every minutes of the day, leaving 14 voicemails, and talking about how you feel like you haven't seen her since yesterday.

8. Stay really out of shape, eat everything in sight, and never exercise. Enough said. This is awesome.

9. And last but not least, do not make her laugh. When a girl laughs at you, she either thinks your funny and really likes you OR she wants to laugh at everything you say even if it isn't funny. Either way, don't let her laugh at you. Its a danger zone.

So. There you go. If you're one of those guys that just always has the perfect girl, and you just need a break from having such a great life, this guide is for you. If you never want an amazing girlfriend or satisfying relationship, follow these principles and your sure to meet your goal! Happy singleness forever and ever.

Because for real...who would ever want to be this happy?

I Just Need More

2012-01-22T10:38:00.000-08:00

Source: Uploaded by user via Kelsey on Pinterest

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy,

the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

-C.S. Lewis

Everyone feels it. The sense that there is some great and mysterious barrier between you and unrelenting satisfaction. You feel it everyday. This thirst, which becomes a kind of desperation. Sometimes it's only barely dry, like the feeling in your throat after a run. Other days, the thirst feels like you haven't had water in weeks.

I woke up yesterday morning and immediately felt the longing. I felt it when I shut off the alarm on my phone. I felt it went I spooned the grounds into my coffee maker. I felt it when I looked outside and as I put on my make-up for work. And I felt it with every table, in every conversation, and in every look.

I just need more.

What if we could be perfectly satisfied by this earth? What if we got the dream job, the perfect romance, and achieved at everything we touched? What if we were perfectly approved of by friends and family and circumstances came together too perfect to imagine?

Then...we woke up one morning. Out of blue. And there it was. The longing. The sunset would still make us feel a certain incomprehensible missing for a place we have never been. We would still feel the sense, with the person lying next to us, that despite our compatibility, we could never be close enough.

We just need more.

From the only One, who can offer us Life.

More.

To the only One, who will ever be enough.

This is Where We Are

2012-01-21T10:40:00.000-08:00

I want to travel.

I want to be comfortable.

I want to have a real job.

I want to play all the time.

I want to be married.

I want to be single.

I want to live in a trendy downtown apartment.

I want to live in the country.

I want to speak another language.

I want to wear a certain size.

I want to wear this dress from this place.

I want to get certain attention from certain friends.

I want time to myself.

I want time with people.

I want community.

I want freedom.

I want be done with college.

I want to be back in college.

I want to do what I want to do.

I want to be solely and exclusively and solely in God's will.

I love him.

I hate him.

I am here.

I am there.

Different kinds of happy.

Different flavors of hard.

This is where we are.

We are one million places at once.

In our heads.

In our hearts.

In our souls.

If only we could take today. Only today. This moment. And know: it's OK.

This is where we are.

Heaven in My Head

2012-01-20T14:24:00.000-08:00

Source: creamylife.com via Ludmila on Pinterest

I'm actually going to be spending all my time here. Or at least I am in my head.

Today, I Got Stuck on an Elevator

2012-01-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

I got stuck on an elevator today. Thereby allowing me to learn an important fact about myself: I do not have claustrophobia. However, when stuck on an elevator, similar symptoms may arise. Symptoms that include immediate panic, severe sweating, bulging of the eyes, and trying strange and illogical things such as prying the doors open with the tips of your nails. Note to the public: this doesn't work.

The short version went like this, I was on my way to my spanish class on the fourth floor. It was cold outside and I was eager (never will be again) to get on the elevator. Two teachers, both easily 20 years my senior, entered the elevator, also needing the 4th floor. I pressed the button for the 3 of us...to go to the fourth floor. Then, after the elevator made a strange lurching sound around the 2nd floor, the elevator stopped. What happened after? You know, instead of discussing specifics, I feel it necessary to impart wisdom. Hindsight is 20/20.

As a matter of fact, I would now like to modestly consider myself an expert on such matters as being trapped in an elevator. So for the exclusive benefit of the students of the UAB humanities building, I have complied a list of things not to do when stuck on an elevator. A "How-to" of "what-not-to-dos" if you will.

1. When the elevator makes a strange cranking sound as the doors close, do not think thoughts such as, "if only I had hugged my mom yesterday."

2. Do not begin imagining scenes from the movie "Devil" where everyone is brutally murdered one by one on a stuck elevator.

3. When the elevator stops on the 2nd floor in a Hollywood-Tower-of-Terror fashion, do not immediately shout "WE.ARE.TRAPPED." this phrase evokes fear and panic in others around you.

4. When you realize the doors are not opening, do not press the >< button. This encourages the elevator doors to remain closed and raises suspicion with fellow riders.

5. When the creatively ingenious lady next to you presses the <> button, and the doors do not open, do not scoff as if it is her fault.

6. Do not jump up and down.

7. When the doors begin to open, do not stare blankly as if they will remain open forever. They will not. The doors hate you.

8. When the doors begin to shut again, do not throw yourself into them. There's enormous crunching potential there.

9. And finally, when you are out, go get a massage. It is a better and less fattening replacement to a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream...especially if you are in the middle of a 7 day cleanse.

Not naming names, but SOME PEOPLE get a massage and THEN eat a pint of ice cream to ruin their cleanse. And then a slice of pizza. But then again that is just some people.

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

2012-01-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage,

and I promise, something great will come of it."

-Quote from "We Bought Zoo"

(Picture taken in St Paul's Cathedral in NYC)

I am not going to Occupational Therapy School at UAB. 20 seconds. I got wait-listed, which was enough for me. 20 seconds. I have an interview from the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort in Germany. 20 seconds. I have my passport. Currently enrolled in a spanish class. Learning German rosetta stone. 20 seconds. Who knows what could happen? I am literally ready for anything. Including staying in Birmingham.

How much time does it take you to make a small decision? What you'll eat for breakfast. What you'll wear. Which route you'll take.

What about an important decision? Whether or not to go to grad school. What job to take. What city you'll move to. Who you'll marry.

I think we spend too much time making decisions. Weighing the pros and cons safely and carefully. Trying to make the most logical and mature choice based on all kinds of obscure qualifications. Not that that's all a bad thing...but sometimes...it can be. What if we actually did get just a tad bit reckless with our decisions? I'm not saying be totally irrational. But think about it.

Here's a mini-checklist:

1. Have you prayed about it? (But seriously. Not the pretend kind.)

2. Do you have the opportunity? (Is what you want, even an option?)

3. Do you have the skills/talents necessary? (Do you feel that you are equipped and gifted at the option presented to you or do you have the ability to become equipped with training?)

4. Do you have the desire? (Do you even want it?)

5. Do people you respect think its a good idea? (Do the people you want to be like give you the big thumbs up?)

If the answer to these questions is yes, and you don't feel a red flag from God, the size of Manhattan, do it.

There isn't much more to over-analyze. Unless your me. Here's to 20 seconds...and a cup of coffee...and some tranquilizers.

How long does it take you to make a decision? How do you process your important/unimportant decisions? Love to hear!

Healthy detox: Day 1

2012-01-09T11:35:00.000-08:00

Good bye 2011. Hello 2012. I am ready to feel indescribably healthy. How about you?

Skeptical? I was. I have always been anti-diets. Coming from a family that was pro-healthy eating, against extremes. I learned early on that diets don't work, because once you get off of them, you gain the weight right back, usually with even extra binge-eating/unhealthy habits due to the deprivation. So bare in mind, fad diets are not something I do and this is NOT a fad diet.

But since working at a pizza restaurant, graduating from college, conveniently losing time for running, and the start of a new year, I am ready to clean up some bad habits and try something new.

It started today. Day 1 of something that can only be described as mildly insane: a 7 day healthy detox.

So what is a healthy detox? A health detox, also known as a cleanse, is a totally body+soul cleaning. It purges your body of toxins, waste, potentially allergenic food sources and just plain unhealthy stuff for your body. The body+soul cleanse emphasizes health and well-being, not weight loss. But you better believe that sticking to it can get you both places. And I sure wouldn't shed a tear if a gained some health, while losing some pounds.

The detox doesn't allow foods with hormones, additives, saturated fats, or allergy-promoting substances, and instead encourages you to replace those foods with organic, whole foods in its place.

How am I using the cleanse? I am using this 7-day cleanse as a launching ground for over all health and better eating throughout the whole year. Obviously, after the 7days, I'm not going to NEVER eat ice cream or NEVER go out to eat with friends or NEVER eat dairy. That's dumb and you could end up hating your life. However, America is in an eating rut. Not only do we not know where our food comes from, what's in it, or how it's processed, we don't care.

For your Soul? Also, as important as health is, what is health without the well-being of our souls? This is a great week to dedicate time to prayer, thanks, and a general refocusing of what matters. How do I want to serve others' this year? How can I deepen in my relationship with the Lord? What are proactive steps I can take in decreasing stress levels? Believe it or not, weight, health, and happiness are HUGELY effected by stress. The soul aspect of a cleanse is vital.

I think the real question is, how healthy are we willing to be and what sacrifices are we willing to make? It's all about balance. For anyone who is considering doing the cleanse, just try it. 7 days won't kill you. And this is for you, so make small modifications if you needs to. For me, I'm going to drink a cup of coffee every morning anyway. Come on. I have to be a person.

Day 1
Begin the day with prayer and thanks.
Breakfast- blackberries and oatmeal (real Irish Whole Oats from Whole Foods)
Snack: carrots.
Lunch: Chickpeas (from Whole foods), an apple, almonds, and more carrots. Oh carrots, I already hate you.
Snack: strawberries and walnuts.
Dinner: Wild caught salmon fillet and broccoli.

If you're interested in starting a cleanse for the new year, check out the Whole Living website.
Here is the specific Detox I'm doing. And for real. Clean up a little.

The Objectification of Women

2012-01-06T10:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the New year! Can you believe its 2012? I can. Time doesn't fly when your life feels like a knock-off brand of Twister. But hey. Its a brand spankin' new year with a clean slate, a fresh start, some healthy resolutions and the objectification of women....wait. WHAT? How terrible.

Why are we objectifying women? That's a great question. Let's talk about that. With every new year comes the inevitable: the super-woman "I want to lose that last 10 pounds" mantra. Or heck, the "I want to lose that last 50 pounds" mantra. Whatever your situation, I'm not judging. Heavens, it is what it is.

But with these new year resolutions, come a heaping wave of sensitivity to every crevasse and wave of our bodies and let's face it...every other woman's as well.

Let me paint for you a highly fictional situation. Let's say, for kicks and giggles, that I have started running again (as of last week). Let's say, that I am in the process of transitioning into a "7 day eating cleanse," which I will discuss later. And let's say that after weighing myself for the first time since May (still fictional), I go into work, where the guys have decided it is the day they will discuss the "level" of "hotness" from the women that come in and out of our "restaurant." Forget the quotes around restaurant. I'm getting flustered.

And in this highly fictional situation, I have also been noticing the INSANE BEAUTY walking through the doors, that I have to wait on hand and foot, no less, listening to their "half salad no dressing" orders. So when I begin to realize what it going on behind the male servers' pointing and the "very sexy at table 51" mutterings in passing, I fictionally become outraged at every male that has ever existed, once again swearing them off and deciding I will go consume an ENTIRE BOX OF TWINKIES (which spell check tried to make twinkles) and LOVE EVERY LAST ONE of those darned sweet treats.

Obviously I'm exaggerating. I didn't buy any twinkies. Nor do I hate the existence of men. I love them. However...Houston. We have a problem. A serious problem.

Is anyone aware of the difference between the word "hot" and "beautiful"? Night and day dudes. Night and day. "Hot" says, I'm not really interested in the fact that you're ordering a "1/2 salad no dressing" and the implications of what that means about you as a person. I solely and simply care about the slab of meat that is walking through the door and how I may selfishly devour it with my eyes. "Hott": You are porn.

"Beautiful" says, I am initially intrigued by how amazing you look, astonished by it even, acknowledging that it is one aspect of who you are as a whole, complex, and complete person. "Beautiful": You are a person.

A comment like, "A guy can look, can't he?" is SO beyond atrocious to me. Who are we, animals at a zoo?

What if I said, oh man, that's one of my lawyer friends that just walked in the door, not only is he "Hott," he makes sooooooooooooo much money. What a provider. What an accomplisher. What a success.

That, men, is the equivalent. Now, let me acknowledge: not every guy is like the guys I described in this post. However, let you be warned. I have twinkies, and I'm not afraid to use them.

Serendipity

2011-12-27T08:33:00.000-08:00

noun

an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

good fortune; luck: the serendipity of getting the first job sheapplied for.

"By accident." A fascinating concept really: accidents. And what a year of accidents it has been.

Accident #1: surprise. You were admitted into an advanced creative writing class that you did not have the prerequisites for. This re-ignited a crazy burning passion for writing...ALL THE TIME.

Accident #2: You discover a scam from a man from L.A. offering you a spot on a reality TV show. That doesn't work out and you end up, upon gradation, in Birmingham Alabama, living with your parents.

Accident #3: You submit an application to California Pizza Kitchen, have an interview the next day where they hire you on the spot and begin training 10 minutes later.

Accident #4: You develop a love for Spanish.

Accident #5: You realize you do not want to go to Occupational Therapy School after 6 months of classes and preparation.

Accident #6: You are single, 22, and available for any opportunity...anywhere.

Hmmm. What we have here is a very interesting situation. A conglomeration of accidents that are, quite perfectly, not accidents at all. But instead, a series of orchestrated events to get me to now. You can imagine, how curious I am to see where 2012's "accident" will lead.

The Reason

2011-12-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

Source: tumblr.com via Maryann on Pinterest

In life, there are different kinds of happy. Tonight, I am thankful to be by a fire, at home with my family, while Dad is making "Ultimate Pizza," and we are watching Christmas movies.

This is my life. My very real and present reality that is good. My sister is home and DeDe is here. We are not sick, or hurting. We have cars and jobs and freedom. We are overly-blessed.

Tomorrow, we will have a somewhat glutenous feast, open presents, read the Christmas story, join friends for the evening, and remember the reason we celebrate: Jesus. We celebrate Jesus. Not in a cheesy way, but in the most new and original way possible, by giving credit where credit it due and by giving thanks for the life we have and not the life we want. Truly, we are happy tonight. Merry Christmas.

Things that are Not Cool for your Christmas Season

2011-12-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

First things first, let me draw your attention to the lady in the picture. She is upset. Do you know why? Because she has made lots and lots of common Christmas errors. She has done, like many of us, 5 things that are NOT COOL.

But before I get ahead of myself, let me explain. I think the world has got it backwards. We all need to take one giant step back and look at some things we think are cool that are most definitely NOT COOL this season. I'll begin with the basics.

1. It is not cool to wear leggings as pants.

Not only is this usually gross (hello cellulite at a young age), but on the off chance you are in the .0009% of women that has extremely sexy legs, do you really want to reveal every inch of them? Less is more kids. Less.is.more.

2. It is not cool to post dimly lit kissing pictures on Facebook, despite the magic of Christmas you are experiencing together.

I thought this went without saying. BUT 1, it is super sketchy. 2, it is gross and weird. and 3, 99.9% of the time is creates an unusually powerful gag reflex. And I'm sorry, but most of us have recently consumed very satisfying desserts around this time of year. Thank you very much. Hence, no leggings for me.

3. It is not cool to give Vampire-Themed Christmas gifts.

"but we all have this really awesome inside joke about all the things we love about blood and Edward and what about team...." NO! Stop. Do you hear yourself? I repeat. No. vampires. this. Christmas. None.

4. It is not cool to tell your mom how much you dislike her asparagus pea casserole.

You want to make all the food? She has gone to a lot of prep. So as perfect as this year feels for the moment when you finally give her the joking nudge and say, "Hey Mom, totes up for coal in my stockings if I don't have to eat your casserole." Woah. Bad timing. This is still not the year for that discussion.

5. It is not cool to discuss political candidates over the Christmas ham.

Comments such as, "But anyway, the government," and jokes like "what do get when you put bad and president together? Bad president...ha...ha...get it? See what I did there?" Don't do this. Don't bring it up. So many bad choices and not enough time.

The list goes on, but I think you get the idea. Christmas is a time for fun, family, peppermint hot chocolate and Jesus. Not stupidity. Merry Christmas! Hope you can function as one very cool cat this Christmas season.

What Christmas is All About

2011-12-13T07:40:00.000-08:00

"And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'.
That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie brown

A Letter from my 32 Year Old Self

2011-12-11T12:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Younger Self,

You are 22, standing behind the corner in a new job, overhearing your co-workers talk about you and feeling your worth defined by them. "Did you see what she did? She may have a college degree, but the idiot (insert much worse word used) can't remember where we keep the straws." You told yourself not to cry. And that was the moment you stopped listening to what other people thought and part of yourself closed. It was time to be an adult.

You were so young, even though you felt so old. You were a dreamer, an idealist, a perfectionist, and a people pleaser. Everyone's opinion was vital, but you were your worst critic. Since school was all you knew, school was what you would do, so you picked up a Human Anatomy and Physiology class and applied to Occupational Therapy School. The world was telling you it was essential to have a trade; a way to make a living and support yourself. So you lived with your parents, worked as a server, and prepared for grad school.

You wanted to accomplish the world, be a writer, a photographer, learn spanish, german, and travel the world. Remember, all you have is today. Slow down. Its ok to spend an hour in the morning talking to your mom over coffee. There will be a day when she won't be around anymore and you will ask yourself why you felt guilty for a gift that was specifically given to you. It's ok for your dad to help you fix your car or put air in the tires. I know you think you are such a big girl, but you will always be small to your Daddy.

Don't ever be too busy to answer your sister's calls. She is a freshman in college and needs your help. When she calls you about the break-up, give her more than enough. Stop talking and start listening. She is learning life from you. Still. Give her a break and don't expect her to say everything the right way. No one asked you to be perfect either. Though heaven knows you try.

Don't worry about the friendships you haven't kept up with, but keep pursuing the friendships that give you life. The friends that know you and make you feel more of yourself. Each year makes them more like family.

Avoid the people that make you feel small and remember that they are not your definition.

Don't be afraid to be 22. You're not wasting time. Everyday is important and this year is vital, shifting your heart for the direction you will head for the rest of your life. You are in the process of choosing a different life than the life that is expected for you. A decision that will define a lifestyle. You are choosing God. And He is placing individual stones for your feet to walk on. Not the whole path. One-at-a-time.

Travel. Don't be afraid to go. Pack your bags and get on that plane. You don't have to have everything perfectly planned out. You have the rest of your life to go to grad school and get a "real job." You are 22.

Not tomorrow, but soon. You meet him. He's not perfect. And he doesn't satisfy you the way you expected, but he's different than the others. He understands why you love coffee and whispers things to you in the morning. You give each other knowing looks when your with your friends, he encouraging your passions, and you feel a peace that he's the one. Finally. Also, he thinks too much, like you.

This Christmas is a special time for you and your family. Its ok to take off work, spend a lot of time reading, writing, and praying for help. Everything moves you and you're wondering if that's normal. You feel lonely, a little stuck, and even more lost. But those feelings won't always be there. In fact, its good that they are. They are shaping you, humbling you, and allowing small windows of perspective for the future.

One day, you will be teaching your daughter how to tie her shoes, sleep deprived, and will have long forgotten the meaning of alone time, dates with your husband, and exercise. You feel fat now? Try having a few kids. You will also begin to understand your parents and know that they were, in fact, always right. But right now, you are 22, single, and free. You are getting in your car, heading home from work, wondering where life will take you next. You have everything ahead of you and nothing holding you back. What a day, Sarah. What a day to be alive.

Love,
Your Older Self

P.S. Don't replace your radiator. That wasn't the problem with your car.

Playing Pretend

2011-12-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

Remember when you were a kid? You played pretend like it was your job. If you were a girl, you played mommy, house, barbies, baby doll, and "let's-pretend-to-be-as-domestic-as-possible-at-six". If you were I guy, you played dinosaur invasion, spy kids, spider man, trucks, legos, or "watch-how-my-car-can-crush-your-car-cause-im-awesome." It's weird though, cause I'm 22, and most days I still feel like I'm playing pretend.

So let's pretend...that me, mom, and dad took off around 10:45 Sunday morning on a big plane headed for New York City...

Let's pretend that this was my view from the plane as we were landing...

Let's pretend that I saw the Waldorf Astoria Hotel from our taxi, which not only was the a pivotal milestone in the movie "Serendipity," but also the hotel that the "Waldorf salad" at California Pizza Kitchen is name after. Interesting.

Then let's pretend I actually went to Serendipity where me and mom sipped on frozen hot chocolate and ate strawberries and cream. And that I was so grumpy by the time we sat down, that when our server didn't come to the table for 10 minutes, I almost grabbed him by the shirt and explained the definition of a knuckle sandwich.

Those girls sitting on the bench are NOT us by the way. No seriously. Pretend or not. We walked...a lot while we were there.

Now. Let's pretend that me and mom posed outside of Radio City Music Hall...

and then walked 2 blocks down to the Rockefeller Plaza Christmas Tree. Thank you mom, for using my camera, even though it made you want to pull out half your head of hair and most of mine.

Let's pretend that we "people watched" all kinds of skaters, as they felt watched by hundreds of people. And decided that our $30 dollars to skate for 90 minutes wasn't worth it, but terribly fun to watch.

Let's pretend I went to Trinity Church and St. Paul's Cathedral, where I felt the weight of the prayers of our forefather's as they pleaded for the future of our country. We are living in the future they prayed for. This place pierced the core of me. You can bet there is another little posty coming about St Paul's Cathedral and Trinity Church graveyard. I physically felt God there. Truly amazing.

Let's pretend that my parents were all kinds of adorable at Central Park, which was both cute and issued a strange and small gag reflex in me at the same time.

Let's pretend that I am becoming a decent photographer...

And that the view from the Staten Island Ferry took my breath away.

Only we don't have to pretend anymore.

Because this all really happened.

But seriously, this is real life. We didn't have internet in our hotel, so every morning and evening I went downstairs to the Times Square Starbucks and wrote. My last night I even met a guy named Young Woong Cho. He is a full time piano teacher, living in New York and loves his job.

He speaks Russian, Korean, and English. He told me how amazed he is that people spend 25 years going to school and 40 years hating their job. English is his 3rd language. I am not going to be an occupational therapist anymore.

On the upper east side, me and mom went to La'Duree, a chocolate shop that originated in Paris and has just now opened a second shop in Manhattan. We talked to a women in line with her poodle. She just had plastic surgery on her face and lives an apartment just down the street. The Upper East Side.

On the plane ride home, my mom sat next to a man who was on the 26th floor of the World Trade Center when the first plane crashed into it. He watched the second plane circle the statue of liberty and fly toward the second Trade Center to bury itself deep inside. That day, when he got to the 2nd floor, the ceiling was dripping so badly he thought it was raining. When he got to the 1st floor, there were bodies everywhere and he realized the rain was gasoline from the plane that had seeped all the way down the building.

Traveling is a wonderful. The places. The people. The stories. It changes you as a person and shows you just how much more there is to life than your little problems. And as magical as traveling is, you get tired, your feet hurt, and at every given moment, there is one or the other person that is hungry, frustrated, tired, needs a bathroom, wants to go somewhere else etc. Before you know it, you are annoyed by the little things. The way someone is tilting the map and how you are being told the wonderful-ness of something. The best thing about traveling: it's the whole package. Experience. Character. Relationships. Life.

But you know what the very best thing is? Experience is one of the few things no one can take from you. Its one of the eternal intangibles that is necessary, essential, and 100% a gift from God. And that...is not pretend.

A New York Snapshot: literally

2011-12-05T05:58:00.000-08:00

I don't have much time. I'm sitting in the Time Square Starbucks. Aka busiest place in the world. Literally. And I have to somehow crank out a post in 10 minutes. But its worth it! Here's a teaser.

So yesterday, I saw this girl standing in line for a taxi eating an apple and I almost laughed out loud. How perfect. I love New York.

Fav quote from yesterday:

Me: Hey mom, see that pointy building? Is that important?

(Followed by shouts and screaming)

Mom: THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING! CAMERA CAMERA

Fav moment from today already:

Mom: (from sleeping) Chris! Chris! I hear screaming. Wait..its like, happy screaming.

Dad: (sits up in bed) what is that?

Me: (out from the bathroom) guys, that's the Today Show.

Love and miss everyone!

What a Day to Visit New York

2011-12-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

Source: 20x200.com via Sarah on Pinterest

The day is here and my heart is bursting through my skin. Our flight leaves in 2 hours. I...Sarah Katheryn Heinss...am going to New York City...during Christmas time.

Source: bing.com via Sarah on Pinterest

I think I've dreamed of this day for most of my adult life. No doubt influenced by movies like Serendipity, Miracle on 32nd Street, Sleepless in Seattle, Rear Window, Morning Glory, P.S. I love you and on... I don't need to make much of an argument that New York has one thing in the bag: Magic. In all different shapes. In all different sizes. It has captured the hearts of so many people.

Source: flickr.com via Sarah on Pinterest

I am supposed to be zipping my bag full of big sweaters as we speak, but of course, I am dying to write you stories! We are staying the middle of Times Square for heaven's sake. Yes, I'm bragging. Try to stop me. And just in case your wondering, I am not one of those people that just "goes to New York." I always hear designers talk about on their blog like "well lovies, I'm off to NYC this weekend, " and I just want to be like, "WHAT?! What do you mean you're off to New York? Are you also off to become casually awesome overnight?" So just so you know. I am not that girl. I am just a girl going to New York, who is practically peeing in her pants just to get to ride on a plane.

Here is a quick list of the things we hope to see:
1. World Trade Center Memorial
2. Times Square
3. Grande Central Station
4. Serendipity (known for their frozen hot chocolate and site of the movie. yes. this is awesome.)
5. Skating at the Rockafeller Center (the fact that I just said this without enthusiasm makes me casually awesome. Just kidding.)
6. Shopping on 5th Avenue, Macy's, Bloomingdales, and Anthroplogy
7. Ride on the Staten Island Ferry (to get a pictures of the statue of liberty. obviously.)
8. Walk in Central Park (where we will see old men playing chess)
9. Movie site tour
10. Reservations Monday night at ABC Kitchen

How many days are we going to be in New York you ask? Oh, only till Wednesday. So if we actually do and see all those things I really will be casually awesome.

Source: etsy.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Here is a beautiful list of all the movies that have ever been filmed in NYC: here.
Over I'm out! I'm off to have some adventures!

The Relationship Series: Acquaintances

2011-12-01T12:02:00.000-08:00

Source: Uploaded by user via Sarah on Pinterest

Relationships. What image comes to mind when you see this word? Love languages, kissing, community, sisters, words of affirmation, mother-daughters, father-sons, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, conversations, backstabbing best-friends, vicious liars, burning love letters...I digress.

The point is, every person's relationships have been uniquely defined through circumstances. And these circumstances give rise to various types of relationships. Whether its love of your life, or the new best friend, different feelings, emotions, and memories float into that little temporal lobe of yours when their name is brought up.

But what about those relationships that are so new you can barely call them a relationship. You know: acquaintances. Some examples of "acquaintances" could be, the guy you always flirt with at the grocery store or that girl who was nice to you at work one day. It could be the old man who gives you a piece of candy every time he sees you or the Dad who is too interested in your outfit. We all know these people. They are not friends yet, but they are the people that make up our day-to-day lives. For some of our acquaintances, we hope they turn into friends. For others, we're tickled pink to only be forced into their presence once a month at functions.

Source: fashion-isha.com via Mademoiselle Rose on Pinterest

The best part about these relationships is that you barely know each other. You can be anyone for that person.

If the acquaintance is someone you like (grocery store guy), you are hilariously funny and always happen to look stunning when you see them. Never mind that you took most of your morning perfecting yourself for them. Lines like, "This old dress, I only wear it when I don't care how I look," and comments of that nature fly out of your mouth. And they are said so confidently, you begin to think you can rock anyones world with your awesome socks. Be careful. That line only works on grocery store guy. Not on Joe-hot-stuff when you trip right before the line. "Ugh...yeah, this dress...it's casual crazy! ha.ha. I'm doing all kinds of crazy crazy things in my casually pretty crazy thing dress." You will then excuse yourself to the bathroom and never. ever. use. the. line. again.

OR. if the acquaintance is someone you don't like, you have the confidence to be a horrific person, with the strange and misguided illusion that you will never ever run into them again. Say you're in traffic and desperately trying to merge into the right lane. You have targeted a very specific car. Its a red Infiniti with a man in it who you have decided is old and calloused and so you start to get sadistically determined to be let in front of him. As a matter of fact, if there is one car that is going to let you in for the rest of your life, its this one. And by golly what has this freakin' world come to. You start to believe that no single human being is more self absorbed than this one. So you roll your window down and yell forcefully to their open window, "Well isn't this world just all about YOU!!!" only to realize it is your pastor. Yes. This happens. Acquaintances are almost never acquaintances.

Either way. If you like em or hate em instantly. You are an alien version of yourself for acquaintances.

One more thing.
I have noticed a fascinating phenomenon (say that 5 times fast): the facebook acquaintance. Oh you know each other all right. Both individuals have effectively stalked the other on facebook for over an hour, but the actually "Hi, I'm Sarah. You pose for pictures weird" conversation has not happened yet. Just kidding. I would never say that. But seriously. That smile is fake. Oh...mine too? Well looks like this relationship isn't progressing to "friendship"...HA. HA! Whatever. Or there's that mom that always "likes" everything you post, including your friends' comments and you just want to be like, "Really? You know, knitting is a fun hobbie too. Try it sometime."

Oh relationships. What an interesting game we play.

Cats

2011-12-01T08:10:00.000-08:00

Source: 9gag.com via Holly on Pinterest

There is something you should know about me.
I love cats. And I don't mean in the normal way people love cats, like the "Oh, precious little thing, let me pet him gently and make strange cooing noises." No no no. I am so far past a normal level of cat adoration.

Too Many Things and Never Enough

2011-11-27T15:14:00.000-08:00

Source: aperfectkindofday.com via Ione on Pinterest

I am looking through the slates of my bedroom window at the rain. To the rain. Through the rain. I see one hundred things in one thing. I see too many things and not enough things. I love way too hard and never hard enough. I was made nothing so I could be something. Life is incredibly simple and extremely complicated. I could win an imagination contest with a child and a tiredness contest with a grandma. I am not well-behaved and I am not afraid to rock a few boats. The day I graduated college I stopped using an organizer. I feel deeply about everything.

I fight for and against myself every.single.day. Who are we fighting for?

When I was 12, I thought I was going to direct movies my whole life. Me and my friend Jesse were fearlessly taking on the world with our siblings in a movie were making called, "The Search for the Lost Ruby." This movie, of course, was written and directed completely by us. Seriously. Awesome. Just let me know if you ever need a copy. There is nothing quite like an ending where 9 kids walk into the sunset to the song "there are places I remember." Quite a tearjerker.

But you know, its funny, because there was this one night we had planned on filming, but the rain rolled in just in time to ruin the planned afternoon of filming madness. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade right? But I didn't want the stupid lemons, much less a tall glass of cold lemonade in November. And yet, when life gave us rain, we made lego houses. I remember that night better than I remember whole years. Its funny how Plan B usually makes the best stories. And you know the coolest part? Our Plan B is always God's plan A. And don't you dare tell me that's cheezy because that is maybe the coolest thing ever. Now, I'm going to drink a little "Heinss Family Christmas Blend." A unique style of coffee, which is actually a conglomerative dumping of all Gevalia flavorings into the filter. And Ta Da! Heinss Fam Christmas blend. Try it. Go watch the rain.
Its ok for tonight to be simple. And complicated.

Rom Coms to watch this week:
Before Sunrise
Before Sunset

Happy Almost Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

This is my house right now :)

Happy Almost Thanksgiving!

So thankful for so many things. Especially the way my feet are kicked up right now. So perfect. This is what I'm listening to right now. Thankful song, but kinda weird, anyway. Whatever. Good song :)

Greg Laswell
"What a Day"
What a day to be alive
What a day to realize I'm not dead
What a day to save a dime
What a day to die trying

What a way to say good bye
What a wonderful life now
What a way that you survive
What a day to say good night

"Bring on the evening hours," I cry
"Bring on the evidence of my life"
"Bring on the evening hours," I cry
"Bring on the evidence of my life, of my life?

What a day to give a damn
What a day for 'Gone With The Wind'
And what a day to start again
What a day to give up

"Bring on the evening hours," I cry
"Bring on the evidence of my life"
"Bring on the evening hours," I cry
"Bring on the evidence of my life, of my life?

What a day to visit Seattle
What a day for San Francisco
What a day, holy Toledo
What a day to get in the air and go

What a day to give up smoking
What a day to absorb Jim Beam and
What a day to welcome a baby and to begin breathing
To begin breathing

What a day to visit Seattle
What a day for San Francisco
What a day, holy Toledo
What a day to get in the air and go

What a day to give up smoking
What a day to absorb Jim Beam and
What a day to welcome a baby and to begin breathing
To begin breathing

Also, I don't know what "Jim Beam" is so if it's something bad, sorry.
Peppermint hot chocolate anyone?

You are Not Alone

2011-11-17T10:26:00.000-08:00

Source: whereisthecool.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Do you ever just feel like at the end of the day, all you can depend on is yourself? Its amazing how we can know the truth, but trusting and believing the truth we know is an entirely different novel. Being fiercely independent, I have to re-learn the falseness of my mentality every day.

So this morning, I was wading through this mess. And then I heard it.

"I made you."

It wasn't audible. And it wasn't written on the wall, but it wasn't make-believe. It was God.

"I am your definition."

He said it even more clearly to my heart. Not like a piece of property. Like a Father.

"You are mine."

God is my rock, my foundation, my trust--I know this. Who I am is in him, and through him all things hold together--I know this. My life, finds meaning solely through the Cross of Christ--I know this. But who am I?

"You are mine."

But what does that mean? I don't understand. How do I live my life with you?

"It means you trust me."

I want to trust you. I need to trust you. But sometimes I feel like I'm on my own!

"You are never alone.
Not for a moment.
Never.
"Not even yesterday. You were not alone, when you saw that pretty blog and felt like you would never take pictures like her. You were not alone in your car on the way to work. You made a hard decision. I know. I was there. I helped you.

"You were not alone registering for the spanish class, thinking you would never know how to speak spanish like you want to. You were not alone on your run, when you got scared in the woods.

You were not alone brushing your hair. You were praying to me and I was listening. I heard every word and the meaning behind the words.

You were not alone in the restaurant, watching the couple laughing together and handing blame to me for your singleness. You have no idea who I have waiting for you. No idea.

Source: themessesofmen.tumblr.com via Sarah on Pinterest

"Wait for me. I am always with you. Placing specific people, specific doors, specific conversations, and specific red lights in your life because you cannot see what I see. You don't hear what I hear. You don't plan like I plan. You don't dream like I dream. You don't love like I love. You didn't die like I died.

You are mine. I love you. Stop exactly where you are.

You are astonishingly beautiful to me. Truly breathtaking.

And.... I. am. so. proud. of. you.

Source: observando.net via Sarah on Pinterest

You are not alone.

A Letter to my 3rd Grade Self

2011-11-15T09:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Younger Self,

(I'm the one with the tree sweater, my sister is the one with the bunny sweater,

the other 2 munchkins are family. And no, this was not a tacky sweater party, just our life. Thanks Mom.)

You are on the school bus, headed for home in 3rd grade, listening to Brys and Jarret tell you Santa Claus doesn't exist. "Its your parents, stupid. Everyone knows that."
"Well," you said, "when you don't believe, he stops bringing you presents." You always have been the kind that believes in magic.

You were so young, a little chubbier than the other kids. You asked too many questions. And weren't allowed to watch Titanic. And in the 3rd grade, that was enough to make you unpopular. Remember Sarah, you are being conformed to a much better image. You have the best parents in the world, and Jarret never had a Dad that would climb trees with him.

Its ok to still play barbies, even though your "friends" think its stupid. One day, you are going to have real friends. The kind that have your back, the kind that have seen your bad days and still choose you. You will be able to count real friendships on more than one hand, and feel the power of the deepest kind of gratitude.

When your little sister asks if she can play with your special doll, say yes. She is learning from every move you make. And when you play the yogurt game, let her have the last bite. Let her hug you before you go to bed, every night, so that one day (yesterday) she will not hold it over your head that you hate physical affection. Let her imitate playing teacher with your dolls the exact way you do, down to the movements, even though its annoying. She is learning life from you.

Don't be afraid to be 8 years old. You don't need to be a day older. Connor will not end up liking you, so you can give up on that crush. Don't write his name in your notebook over and over again next your yours, because Maddie Crawford will find it and tell everyone. Its awkward, trust me.

Let mom tuck you in, and let Dad still kiss you on the cheek, you are not too old for that. You are not too old for most things you think you are too old for. Play make-believe every day, because you will wake up one day, and not remember how.

One day, you will be registering your own car, getting a Mastercard for your gas, to build your credit score, you will care about health care policies, and pay taxes. But right now, you are 8. On the bus, pulling up to your home, and seeing Oreo sitting on the that brick column. Go play. And get excited, because this is the Christmas you will hear Santa's Reindeer on the roof. A phenomenon that can only be explained by magic.

Love,
Your Older Self

(This is all of us now, + one. We still don't dress a lot better ;)

What Makes You Beautiful

2011-11-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what beauty actually is? Is it a scale of 1-10? Is is appearance? Is it your clothes? Or is it something deeper?

And even more importantly, why do you choose the clothes that you do?
At Changing Seasons, the blog for Nations Outfitters, they focus on what style, fashion, design, and clothes, are all about. Its not just about the clothes you wear, it's what you do in the clothes that count. Go check them out!

They have incredibly cute clothes, at affordable prices. There is just something about buying clothes from an outfitter that cares about the whole package and not just sex appeal. Can I get an amen?

Merry Thanksgiving Honey

2011-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Source: pinterest.com via Rosemary on Pinterest

I am not going to pretend like its Christmas time when it is Thanksgiving time. Know this. I am also a Christmas music nazi. I refuse to listen to a single christmas song before the day after Thanksgiving. Come on, by Christmas day do you want to be clamping your ears with delirium of the 500th playing of "So this is Christmas"?? No, you don't. Its a depressing song anyway.

Starbucks Peppermint Mochas are a different story. I plan on buying those starting 5 days ago.

The Current "do not like" list...cause everyone in the world cares specifically about my preferences.
*that was sarcasm
1. Apple Martinis-had my first one last Sunday. They are ridiculously sweet.
2. James Franco-I was unhealthily obsessed with him at this time last year until I realized how awful he was. He is awful.
3. Christmas music-its too early
4. Lies-don't tell them
5. The new fat-scarf trend

The Current "Love" list
1. Rachel Parsons-coolest work friend ever
2. Germany-might be going there. Just sayin'
3. Butterfinger cookies-oh the perks of having a sister who bakes
4. Spanish children's books-yes I'm weird
5. The murder mystery show "Castle"-watch it. love it.

After "the talk": let's get messy

2011-11-11T11:55:00.000-08:00

BREAK-UPS: Part 2
After "the talk"

Watch this: again, sorry for the language.

So, you've had the talk. You are both sufficiently depressed, confused, lackadaisical (my new fav word), numb/feeling everything. Its a beautiful mess and you feel empty and alone.

Perfect. Let's fix that.

Step 1: The 24 hour crisis

For girls: Get emotional. Buy ice cream, cake, frozen pizza, cookie dough, chocolates, heck anything with lard and sugar. Rent all of your favorite chick flicks. Either invite all your friends over or hang with your self (whatever you need) and grieve. Yes, I'm serious. Listen to Bon Iver, Iron and Wine, Peter Bradley Adams, and Michael Buble. Listen to all of your favorite love songs. Even the special ones you had together. Wallow. Stay with me here. For 24 straight hours, cry your eye sockets out until they are so dry you do not know what to do. Let the realization sink in so deep you can barely talk. It's over. It's over. It's over. The point here is that you expend tremendous amounts of estrogen.

For guys: Do something. Ride motorcycles, punch things, create a memorable hole in your wall, go for a run, lift too many weights, go skydiving, yell very loudly in the woods, or maybe in starbucks (just kidding). And when you yell in the woods, make it super manly and crazy. Kick things, go hunting, kill small and sweet hunt-able animals, light matches and watch them burn, chop wood, create things and then use fireworks (be safe) to explode and destroy them. The point here is that you expend tremendous amounts of testosterone.

Do you think I'm crazy yet? Good.

Step 2: Move the heck on.
For girls: You had 24 hours of mind-blowing, earth shattering saddness. Now...move on. It's over. Get up the next day, get a shower, and start over. Go for a run, breathe, and begin again. You are a strong, independent women that does not need a man to satisfy you. Take this sentence and post it anywhere necessary: "I do not need 'guy's name' physically, emotionally, financially, mentally, or spiritually."

For guys: You have had 24 hours of mind-blowing, earth shattering manliness. Now...move on and be a real person. It's time to get involved, get busy, and remember who you were without her. Serve others, get involved in ministry, and make some new guys friends. If you have more advise on this, please post below, I'm not an expert on man grieving in this area. I think the most important thing for guys is that they remember to deal with it an not sweep it under the rug. It happened. It was painful. You miss her. And that's ok. Now move on.

For both: Do not text, call, e-mail, or have any form of contact for at least 6 months. Now, if you have been dating for an incredibly long amount of time, this is difficult, because most likely your lives are completely intertwined. Be kind, but minimal conversation is required. So yes, this means making new friends, not forgetting the old ones, but some significant changes are going to need to be made. Also, missing them will happen, and that's ok.

Step 3: Make defining changes.
For both: Make a list and acknowledge what was good and bad about your relationship. How you grew and were strengthened and how you felt stripped of who you were and brought down.

Get a hair cut, take a cooking class, learn a new language, join a local kickball team. Whatever. And this part will be different for everyone. The point is, start something new in your life that gets you around new people and something you enjoy and something that feels fresh.

The most important thing is, you cannot be friends. Not right now. Maybe not ever. And that needs to be ok. Trying to be friends with someone you loved is like playing house with a elephant. It's ridiculous, stupid, and you can't get the elephant out of the room. Very awkward when your friends come over.

Step 4: Throwing away the rose-colored glasses.

This is the worst part. You are going to miss them for a long time. That's ok. Sometimes, things happen in my life, I hear a song, or anything, and I'm 16 again. It hurts.

But

Your relationship was not perfect. He/She was not perfect. There were awesome things you had together. There were awful things you had together. The point is, for whatever reason, it is over and not a book to be opened again (except for extremely rare exceptions). Throw away the rose-colored glasses. Here are thoughts to be burned with the roses:

"I will never find anyone like that again."

"No one will love me like that again."

"I will never have what we had with anyone ever ever ever ever ever again."

"He/she just got me. And no one else does or ever will."

Its normal to think these thoughts. But acknowledge to yourself that this is not truth. Speak the truth to yourself. And get ready, because your life is an incredibly awesome adventure.

You will meet someone else. He or she will rock your world. You will fall in love. It will also not be perfect, but it will be right. Waiting is worth it. (Take you own advise Sarah, take your own advise.)

For anyone who is going through a break-up right now, my heart is with you. Seriously. It just isn't easy. Those are my "general advise" steps, but at the end of the day. It takes time. Remember, as sad as you are right now, this is a fresh start. Live it.

It's Not You It's Me: how to have "the talk"

2011-11-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

BREAK UPS: PART 1
"The Talk"

Before I launch today's nail biting topic of break-ups. Watch this video. It's Awe-some! Besides all the language. I apologize. Trust me, it's still worth it for the acting and content.

Disclaimer: I do not pretend to know all of your circumstances. Every break-up is different. Every person is different. This post is made up of general concepts and tips to lighten the load of this horrific event, and leave a little dignity intact.

Break-ups: if your alive, you've had one. But for as many people in the world that have had that little "It's not you, it's me," line thrown their way, there is an equal portion of people who have no clue what to do after it. I don't even pretend to know each and every one of your circumstances, but here are a few principles I have learned over the years of how to break-up well. Not perfectly, or even happily, but how to break-up well.

First of all, what is a "break-up"?
Readers: what do you think we are? Stupid?
Me: chill out. I'm just making sure we are all starting from a level playing field.

Basically, "breaking up" it is what happens between 2 people that confided in each other emotionally, mentally, and physically, that felt prematurely "one" and then the "one" went back to being two, hence the breakage. So there has been a breaking of sorts. In hearts. In minds. In souls. In egos. In confidence. In trust. In body image. In small drawings of squirrels (long story). The list goes on. Also, to be more specific, I am referring to break-ups that take place within lasting, serious relationships, not just, "hey we went out a few times" kind of stuff. I'm talkin' the REAL. DEAL.

The hilarious thing about break-ups is how everyone down plays it, like one of the most precious things in the world has not just been ripped from their carefully crafted grasp.

1. "It's hard, but it's good." Really? I would love to know what you think is good about this?
2. "It was meant to be." Interesting. The ever-present gnawing at your soul for their essence and presence is meant to be? The fact that you still feel so divinely connected to them, feeling as if you potentially share a heart is meant to be? The 6 boxes worth of Godiva truffle wrapping on your bedroom floor and The Notebook on repeat is meant to be? Hm.
3. "You know, yesterday was a bad day, but I'm doing much better." B......S.

The fact is, relationships go way deeper than we would like to think. They go to the core of what we know. When we lose the person that completely changed our lives, and then they are taken away, the core of us follows them. Not forever. But these things take time (way more than people think) to heal.

Now, let's talk about how to do a break-up right.
How to give "The Talk"
1. The talk must be in person. Need I say more? You know this. You owe it to them, their dignity, and yourself.

2. The talk must be honest. Did you hear me? Are you breaking up with them because you are going to college or because you want to date other people? Because you don't agree spiritually, or because you care too much about your parents' opinion? BE. REAL. Never ever ever use the line "It's not you, it's me." Because its not you, it's them. That's why you're breaking up with them.

They may not like it, but it is the right thing to do. By the way, don't run with this honesty thing. Which brings me to my next point.

3. The talk must be gentle. Especially because this advise is for the person giving the talk, it is your job to remember what and how the other person is feeling. The love of their life is essentially communicating "You aren't good enough." By the way, never say that. Too much honesty. You're getting carried away. It might be hard for you to have this talk for this hour, but they are going to suffer for much longer feeling rejected by you.

4. Make the terms clear. When you first break-up, you are so used to talking to your best friend about everything, that when something exciting happens you will immediately want to text them. Don't do it. The best terms after a serious relationship break-up is to not talk at all for a while. No phone calls, no texts, no e-mails, no instagrams with hidden messages (really?), no pinterest pins with quotes like, "every day is like the earth without sun" or crap like that. You need a good, clean break. And no, you cannot be friends.

Will talk more about this in the next post for Part 2: After "The Talk"

Wander Lust

2011-11-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Source: blanccoco-photographe.com via Blanc on Pinterest

Ok little blogging world! My wander lust got the best of me so I'm over and out. Headed to Dallas, TX today to spend an amazing week with Shade Tree Films. So get ready, when I come back, I'm going to be crackin' back into my wedding film love.

Also, some posts coming up for next week include...
1. Break-ups: get ready. This can and will be messy.
2. What makes us beautiful: featuring Changing Seasons.

And no, I'm not as cute as the girl in the photo when I travel. A girl can dream though can't she? And speaking of dreams, on my flight today, I'm planning on sitting next to an extremely attractive man, roughly 25, who is mysterious, but not too mysterious, incredibly intelligent, but interested in others ideas and open for discussion, who makes me and laugh and dazzles me and as we exit the plane, on the flight that went by in a literal blink, he will casually brush my arm with a book, with his name in it and number, and say that if I were to need anything, which I will because I will have fallen madly in love with him, that I could feel free to call him. I'm planning on this exact situation. I like to be realistic with my traveling expectations. Right? You too? Cool. Happy Tuesday :)

Source: prettystuff.tumblr.com via Bryna on Pinterest

Source: styleessentials.tumblr.com via Nicola on Pinterest

Building puzzles

2011-10-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

Source: tumblr.com via Steven on Pinterest

So this is a little fiction piece I wrote the other day. It doesn't have any particular relevance to my life right now, but I was definitely inspired to write from a recent coffee shop experience. Its ironic really. I was watching this guy, watching this girl, watching this guy. And then I wrote this. Enjoy!

Building Puzzles

Will was watching the man with Annie. The man with Annie did not know Will was watching them from a distant booth, nor did he know that Will had a breath in this life. But Will was watching them, an watching with a unique kind of determination, as if the man was something Will had always wanted to say, but never knew how.

And Will was seeing Annie in a way he had never seen her look before: weak. Annie looked weak with this man. Like the core of her was following him to a safer place, while the edges lingered back, scared and apprehensive. The man looked the same way, and though Will had never met the man before, he knew the man was feeling weak too.

What the hell was happening and how could he stop it? How do you ask a puzzle piece to kindly not fit into the adjoining piece it was meant for?

"You realize I'm joking," he heard Annie say to the man, "I've always wanted to go Paris. Where do you want to travel?"

Will was witnessing his own personal train-wreck; but he couldn't look away. He was watching her, watching him, knowing he would never be watched by Annie in that very particular way. After all, she had never really watched him to begin with. Watching was for the kind of eager love that simply must know the favorites of every little taste and whim. "Do you like coconut? And what about Winter? Do you like to read books? What kinds of books do you read? What do think about the kinds of books that you read? What do think about your thoughts on the kinds of books that you read? Do you love fires, and hiking, and coffee?"

And with every question they were wondering if they would love each other. Which they would, and Will knew, because he saw the pieces. With every question, they were building a puzzle.

The Vegetarian Weekend

2011-10-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Source: gardenviewcottage.tumblr.com via Cody on Pinterest

Happy Weekend! Is anyone going any place wonderful? I actually plan on staying in my pajamas for the day and shower just in time for work. I'm attacking a couple of books right now, one of which is turning me into a vegetarian. If you want to enjoy your sausage on Saturday mornings and this year's Christmas, don't read "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Safran Foer. He is my favorite fiction author ever, and creator of my favorite book of all time, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close."

So naturally, when I saw he had a new book out, my eyes became as big as saucers and I ordered it immediately. I had no idea I was stumbling my way into a deeply emotional, non-fiction book about how meat is processed in the United States. My word. Prefer to be blind to this situation? That's fine. I get that. I'm just not anymore. And it is 100% my fault, but I can't stop reading it. He is such a captivating author, even his non-fictions blow my heart out.

This girl's got jokes

2011-10-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Source: google.com via Sarah on Pinterest

But for real. You love that cat joke. Don't lie. By the way, is it noon and I am sitting here in my pajamas...ok sweat pants and a T-shirt the size of a barn...eating Kashi waffles and scrambled eggs. I might also mention that my sweat pants and T-shirt the size of a barn, are grey. I came to a very sudden and shocking realization this morning, while contemplating my breakfast, that I own a lot of grey. My sweatpants, my favorite patagonia jacket, my sneakers, most of my favorite T-shirts, the brand spankin' new blouse I bought from a snazzy boutique. I mean...really? That's A LOT of grey.

Here is something else interesting for this very easily-entertained and desperate post-college grad: I only buy solid colored items of clothing. What up type-A personalities of the world? Do you also prefer that your food not touch? That you get up at roughly the same time everyday? And that you eat your oreos with a very certain kind of method and precision? No? Just me? Well...don't judge. A girl's gotta down a spoonful of order wherever she can get it. And dude...happy Thursday.
Also, I want this door mat. Especially for the modest people who will blush slightly while walking into my house thinking, "Oh bless me, no one has seen my underwear in years."

Source: uncommongoods.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Not for the Dinner Table

2011-10-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

"Don't talk about that. We're at the dinner table."

Raise you're hand if you heard this as a kid? Everyone better be raising their hands, because EVERYONE wanted to talk about little Jimmy that threw up in Math class at some point or another. And NO ONE wanted to wait until after dinner. Because when you're ten years old, the impulse to talk at the precise moment the thought enters your head is comparable to the pressure in your large intestines, followed by a dash to the bathroom after that second helping of Grandma's baked beans (if you catch my drift). There's no stoppin' it.

So as a kid, it's the dinner table, but as you get older, the genres become more complicated and so do the list of politically incorrect topics. Sometimes, it seems like the most important topics are the things this person, that person, and Mrs. Peterson's cat has decided is not "appropriate" or "socially acceptable" for the dinner table.

For example, I have 100 million hilarious stories in my head from the restaurant. I breathe, sleep, dream, and eat (literally) my job as a server. But can I tell you those stories? No. Because I am terrified a manager is going to stumble upon my blog and fire me if I don't act like everyday is Rainbows and Reeses cups.

Here's another thing. What about sex? We are sexual beings. But in the church today, we're hard-pressed to find any pastor who is willing to dive into Song of Solomon. Does the church realize that sex is all we see all day long? How are we supposed to process our over-sexualized culture, if all we see is a distorted view of intimacy? And heaven forbid sex/relationships become a topic on anyone's blog without enduring the wrath of the "politically correct syndrome," or the sheltered homeschool moms that are covering their children's ears in the corner. Yes, this is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean?

*Disclaimer*
I can make fun of homeschoolers. I was one. I can also make fun of homeschool moms. I love them. And I hope to be one of them, one day.

HA! And how could I forget? Poop. Why do guys have a mini-heart attack when they hear a girl pooped? Go ahead, cover your ears men. Our political correctness is getting us into trouble. News flash: Girls poop. Oh shoot. Someone get the epipin. I think we lost one. I had a guy friend in high school that actually covered his ears when I said I would "be a minute in the bathroom." Really?! Grow. a. pair.

Now look, I'm all about being a lady. I don't think we should remedy the situation by running around cursing and screaming "NUMBER 2. NOW IT'S TIME FOR MY NUMBER 2!" That would be epically weird and get most people fired. I'm just sayin'. There's a balance in there somewhere. Pay someone to be your sister for a year or something. For real.

Let's do this life thing together and let's free ourselves from the fluff.
When you say, "How are you?" Mean it.
Before you say, "I love you." Think about it.
Once you say, "It's over." Be strong.

Let's be real people. Let's be people that tell the truth and speak it in love. Let's be wise, strong, confident men and women who are passionate about being who we are and not running away from the topics that matter.

Ready to take on the dinner table? I got your back.

A Tisket a Tasket, a lovely little basket

2011-10-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hellooooooooooo Monday! Most people say you come too fast. I say you are beautiful. For me, it means organization, cleaning, editing movies, writing, pinterest, studying, and going for a run. Nothing like getting your life into boxes, so each one can be slowing opened through the week.

Yesterday I went to my new church's 4th Annual Fall Picnic. Nothing screams the south like a hamburgers, hayrides, and football. I kept feeling like I was in the movie "Oklahoma" or the episode of Gilmore Girls where the boys bid on the girls baskets. We didn't actually do that yesterday, but oh my word, it would have been so fitting.

For all you Gilmore Girls fans, what's your vote?
1. Dean?
2. Jess?
3. Logan?

My vote is Jess every time. Dean reminds me too much of my high school boyfriend, Logan is a jerk, but Jess finally gets his act together. I mean, come on, he publishes a book. Hot.

You know my favorite part about Gilmore Girls? Its not the boys (though that's awesome too), its not Connecticut (which I want to move to), and its not the fantastic mother-daughter relationship (which I already have). No indeed, my favorite part of Gilmore Girls is that they are content. It seems like every other show makes me feel like I need more more more of whatever. Lorelai and Rory love their little town of Starts Hollow and have a way of making the mundane stirrings of the day interesting. I literally feel more content after watching the show. And I think we could all use a spoonful of contentment to help the life go down, if you know what I mean.

Ok, last comment about Gilmore Girls. Can anyone say witty? One time, I had a friend tell me I reminded her of Lorelai, from Gilmore Girls and I was so elated I almost kissed her (which no doubt would have been the wrong response). Then for the next several weeks I had strange compulsions to send her gifts and other various monetary rewards for my feeling of awesomeness.

Never fear, my head quickly deflated after we played the "What animal do you look like game?" because...of course...everyone awarded me a chipmunk. Perfect. I love my cheeks every day.

Good with the bad, kids. Good with the bad.

Oh my stars. CHEESE.

2011-10-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

Calling all people who love cheese! I have found the secret to life! Eat. Cheese. Constantly. But for real, as the cold weather rolls in and I'm faced the choice to either a real dinner or a grilled cheese, what will I choose 99.999999999999% of the time? Eat grilled cheese.

Now you may be wondering, has she gone insane? Is this healthy? Does she need to be medicated heavily for her new cheese addiction? But never fear my normal friends! Cheese only becomes a true addiction when you can't live without it or experience withdrawal symptoms, which I don't.

In case you are interested in learning more about cheese, there is a handy dandy website called cheese.com. There you can research cheese by name, cheese by country, and cheese texture.

Have a truly fantastic Wednesday and please, eat cheese.

Something Inside Me Clicks

2011-10-16T14:33:00.000-07:00

I was sixteen that October.

Source: foliagefrost.tumblr.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Isn't is interesting how your favorite seasons bring back the sharpest memories? For me, Fall's memories will always hold a small piece of eternity. In some ways, I feel like they made me. It's during the Fall that I feel most alive. Between that first night I see my breath, to the gentle aroma of pumpkin and spice, something inside me just clicks.

It's interesting how people are wired isn't it? I hear some of my closest friends describe this eternal click as happening during the summer. For me, all the summer does is cause a heat wave of depression. Seriously, I strongly dislike the season of summer (refraining from saying "hate" because I hear my mother in my head).

What's you favorite season? Anyone else feel like it's a party everyday during the Fall? Let's be best friends.

Light Candles

2011-10-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

Source: desiretoinspire.net via Stephanie on Pinterest

Hey. Happy Fall. Light candles.

Instead of Sheep: Night #1

2011-10-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight, as promised, I am posting three things I am thankful for in this moment.

Source: themessesofmen.tumblr.com via Laura on Pinterest

1. I am epically thankful that high school is over.

2. I am thankful for the sweet little 4th grade girls in my theatre workshop that remind me to be a kid again.

3. I am thankful for the 3rd Hunger games series that I am literally holding in the other hand while I type. I am that excited.

4. I am thankful for this Friday, I am going camping :)

Here's to Fall. Good night.

Comfort Blankets Anyone?

2011-10-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

Change:: 1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different
from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

As you may have noticed, I changed the name of my blog. Instead of "One Day at a Time" it is now "Simply Sarah." I know I know. You can't just CHANGE the name of a blog, but I actually can and I did. Come on, you have to admit, it's more me. It is also representative of all the thousands of little changes that are taking place in my life right now.

Source: curious-places.blogspot.com via Amy on Pinterest

By the way, can I live here? Sorry, off topic.
Anyway, change. Are we better with it?
C. S Lewis says, “Mere change is not growth. Growth is the synthesis of change and continuity, and where there is no continuity there is no growth.”

And there it is. Balance. So when bullets of change are shooting at you like paintballs, marking you with their presence for everyone to see the effects, know something. Its ok if you're a little shell-shocked. Its not natural. Yes, change is good. Continuity is good. They make us better people. Better mothers. Better friends. Better lovers. Better Christ-followers. Unfortunately, all it takes is a minor glitch in the plan to get me running for my comfort blanket.

The Ticket I Never Bought

2011-10-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Source: shannoneileenblog.typepad.com via Lauren on Pinterest

I could give up right now, I thought to myself. No seriously. I could give up in this exact moment and run away. I'm 22 years old. What do I have to lose? I'll just run away. Because if I head north, to the mountains, or the east coast, maybe I've got a chance to start over. To start over on a career, to start over on choices, to start over on me. I was literally sitting on my bed starring at my little red bag. All I'd need is what I could stuff in my tote. Has anyone else ever felt like this? Is anyone else riding a train they never bought a ticket for?

The pressure to be and see and do and conquer can be more than overwhelming. It can be down right dangerous enough to make us want to jump ship. I thought to myself the other day, "Now God, I said I would follow, but this isn't what I signed up for." I was hoping for a little more mystery, a pinch of magic, a rush of adrenaline, and then a soothing cup of coffee to celebrate a job well done. I didn't buy a ticket for confusion. And I certainly didn't buy a ticket for the next train to awkward town or self-awareness city.

Prone to Wander.
Prone to leave the life I love.
Prone to...wander.

So what do we do with our foolish little hearts? Glad you asked.
1. Stop
2. Breathe
3. Make pancakes

(Picture found at 3191 Miles Apart)

Now obviously, that will not calm your every soul's longing. However, it is part of a bigger idea that involves slowing simplifying some important areas of my life. BIG areas. Areas that need a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down, if you know what I mean.

1. Cooking and photography: I love cooking and I love photography. I am not cooking or taking pictures because I am too busy. This is a problem. Therefore, for fun, I am going to start cooking one recipe every Monday and taking pictures of the process. And then I will blog about it. Right here. Also, might I add, "cooking" could very well end up being a handmade PB&J. But hey, who's judging?

2. Accessories: I am no longer going to care about accessories. Seriously. I am going to put in a pair of stud earrings and never take them out. I don't care about earrings. I never will. And they stress me out. Done.

3. Reading: I love to read. It helps me go to sleep every night. Therefore, every evening, I am going to read, even if it is only a few pages. For 5 minutes.

4. Thankfulness: I am a greedy little thing. I am always asking for more more more, like a 3 year old. So, every night, instead of counting trials, I will be counting blessings. 3 to be exact. And logging them right here.

This is the start of simplicity. I am not running away. I am not backing down. I am simply packing my little red bag with a tube of lipstick, a book of thanks, and a ticket to board that crazy old train.

Calling All Control Freaks

2011-10-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night that I was being chased by Big Foot. Yes, Big Foot specifically. Now, as the amazing dream interpreter that I am, I'm going to take a stab this. Obviously, I am not literally afraid Big Foot is going to come out of a cave near my house and begin waving his big wood stump at me. So what does Big Foot represent?

He could represent...cheese. But that is unlikely for so many reasons.
He could represent...my mom. But interestingly enough, that is also unlikely. Though she would look adorable in a little cheetah-print-cave-man costume for Halloween. I would never be able to convince her of this.
My last and final stab: big foot must represent things in my life I cannot control. And man, there are so many of those things.

Have you ever wondered what like would be like if you could control everything? Haha only a woman would need this so intensely.
Example #1:Total and perfected decorative CONTROL of your living space

Example #2: Total and perfect CONTROL of your will to exercise, your appearance, your fitness.
(Anyone have trouble stopping on that late night ice cream?)

Example #3: Total and perfect CONTROL over wanting to be an exact replica of Julia Childs.
This kind of control includes our sex appeal in that "special little apron", to the final presentation of the conveniently perfect lemon-blueberry cake.

So yeah, I always think I want the control. But would I really want ultimate control?
Who am I kidding. Look at me without it. There's no way I'd take on Big Foot with it. Don't think I'd be wearin' that cute little cheetah get-up either. I'd be in a straightjacket.

(All images found from a fabulous little control freak website Organize Things Neatly.)

Building Leaf Houses

2011-10-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, me and Kelley used to make leaf houses in October. Oh the games that came from our epic little adventures in our make-believe kitchens and living rooms. Our imaginative capacity as children was incredible. I mean, don't you remember actually feeling like you were the mommy to your little doll? And when I was throwing together that grass that smelled like onions, man, I was Paula Dean. Nothing like grass soup.

What happened to that? Somewhere between, "Can baby have some ice cream too?" and "Mom, can you drop me off around the corner instead?" we change. We become more aware of ourselves. It becomes important for people to like us. We gain responsibility. And then we grow up. We can't always remain kids. How would anyone pay their taxes or use a credit card to "build their credit."

Source: browndresswithwhitedots.tumblr.com via Sarah on Pinterest

I don't love the idea, but its all part of this weird and crazy thing we live in called life.

Here's the catch. We can never stop playing. Why are all women crazed about Pinterest? Why do we read and watch movies and write stories? It's an escape from our very real world, where we get to imagine a world where we make perfect Pumpkin spiced muffins in October, live in that dream house by the beach, and dress like a Vogue ad everyday. Its a nice escape. A necessary escape. The problem starts when we get mad we can't have the life we imagine. You didn't do that as a child. Can you remember ever being mad that your grass soup wasn't the real thing? Or thinking you deserved that grass soup to be real?

There is no way to untangle the elaborate circumstances of how you got to where you are in this moment. If you could, it wouldn't even help. Knowing why and how is not the key to being ok with your life.

Edward Abbey says, May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, and leading to the most

amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."

The best is yet to come. No matter where you are. The best moment of yearning is the moment you realize and remember that HE is all you need.

So as Fall rolls around and I'm reminded of the years of memories from childhood leaf-houses, I'm looking froward to a far more real house. And its perfect. But it doesn't exist here. And when I get there, I won't need to make pretend soup, because when I get to where I'm going...

Source: prettystuff.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

I will only drink the finest wines and the choicest meats. I will dine with the One who created imagination. Which means the real thing...will...finally...satisfy.

So for right now, I'm building leaf houses. And they'll do in a pinch.

Sweaters, books, and wine

2011-10-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

Let me hit you with a hypothetical situation: I, Sarah, hypothetically, have misplaced ALL of my fall/winter clothes. And in this hypothetical situation, I have 3 options.

1. Cry

2. Move to Paris

3. Search the garage, where I will re-live the horror that I am, in fact, not in college anymore. And that all of my sweetly and preciously collected thrift store/IKEA furniture is rotting in my parent's garage.

4. I said three...whatever. Buy new clothes.

What do you say? Hypothetically.

Anyway. On to other things. Has anyone read the hunger games series? Talk about mental candy. If you need a little escape from life, please get yourself a little library card and order all 3 hunger games books immediately.

Also, does anyone have recommendations on wine books? I have this secret dream of being a wine connoisseur. Do know how much wine identifiers get paid. Crazy amounts of dough. Granted, they can literally take a sip of wine blindfolded and tell you the region, accents, and what the wine was fermented in. So yeah, that's my secret dream.

Here is the solution: find my sweaters, finish the last hunger games book, and drink a glass of wine. October? Yes. I love you.

Running for Home

2011-09-20T20:21:00.000-07:00

"We were searching for each other long before we met…and once we did we were so mutually taken by each other, so instantly smitten and allied, that from that moment forward nothing was ever so precious to us as one another. And feeling that we had spent enough of our lifetime apart, there was no time to lose. 128 days and 1,968 miles stood between our first letter and our first kiss, only a speck of time in the grand scheme of things – except when you are falling in love and running for home." -Excerpt from blissbombed.com

I have discovered the most beautiful writer. She writes at blissbombed.com. Literally, every article is insane. In the middle of one of her articles I just started balling, not because it was sad, I was just so gripped by the art of her writing. Now I know, it doesn't take too much to move me, but guys, this is different. Holy Poly. She wrote this one article called "The Affair that Never Happened." Its her writing a letter to this guy that she barely knows saying how they have to end their friendship because she is seeing the potential and weight of what is forming. SO COOL. She also wrote the above excerpt. Can we pretend I wrote that excerpt? No? Darn.

On more important topics, I had my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season today before work. Talk about coming home. And bought from my birthday Starbucks giftcard no less, making it taste even more like an explosion of home in my cup. Would I like that with whip? Duh. Non-fat milk and whipped creamed. Because I'm a girl and that makes sense to me. And its a REALLY good thing I had that Latte, because a man at one of my tables asked what my major was and when I told him psychology, you know what he said to me? I'll tell you. He said, "Wow. Interesting choice. That's a 'would you like fries with that?' major."

Um. Excuse me? A "would I like fries with that" major? Well you are a "Can I show you to the door" kind of customer. Thank heavens I drank every.single.drop. of my delicious espresso drink to make up for it. Guess he missed the part about my degree being perfect for the grad school I'm applying for. Anyway. Not the most important thing.

More importantly is the fact that I became so utterly consumed with my whipped cream and its condition on top of my latte that on my drive to work I kept opening the lid to see how melted it was and how much I had left. Reminder to self: this is not the only pumpkin spice latte you will ever enjoy. You can get another one. Tomorrow even. Calm down.

I get so worked up over small things. But that's another conversation for another time. And right now I'm home. Good night. Chamomile tea anyone? Just me. K.

Simple Math

2011-09-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

(Picture found at http://bforbonnie.tumblr.com/post/9970555310)

Simple Math. It's how our bodies even got here. Or at least those are the words that Manchester Orchestra has been rocking my world with. But it doesn't feel like simple math does it? It feels complicated. More and more complicated with time and wisdom and understanding.

Why does it seem like I feel things 100 bazillion times more tangibly than the average human being? Sometimes all it takes is a song, a touch, or picture and I'm gone. Lost. Caught in this deep well of overwhelming imagination. The feeling is what I think it would be like to drown in dark chocolate or rich cabernet sauvignon.

I end up caught between 2 extremes. I can either cut myself off. Choose to be hard, cold, strong, confident, confrontational, self-protective and self-sufficient. Or soft, tender, loving, caring, feeling, emotional, passionate, and scared. How do we find the balance? I can tell you one thing. I refuse to be unaffected.

See, the trick is, even if we decided we're quitting life for a few days emotionally, it doesn't quit us. So we have to make some choices here.

And I don't know about you, but I want to feel. All of it. Now.

I'm Not Every Woman

2011-09-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

Source: prettygirll.tumblr.com via Christine on Pinterest

Do you ever just look at other women and go, "Wow, she has it all together." I mean, I look at this women in the picture to the left and she just looks so...powerful. Haha but you know what I mean?

Sara Groves just came out with a new album. I know I know. When I found out, I was at Urban Standard Coffee and I almost began frantically running around to every table shouting at them to pull up I-tunes immediately. I decided against that this time, but don't put it past me. This girl can get dramatic, can I get an amen? Anyway, she wrote this incredible song called "Finite." Look it up. It literally waters my soul.

As women, and probably as humans, we want to be everything. There's something about the idea of being thin, sexy, driven, successful, full of rich friendships, and living a fabulous love life that makes us want to quite life and enter a movie. Interesting how the the successful, sexy women usually don't have friends... OR magical love lives. Just a personal observation. Don't freak out.

And want to know something sad? The woman in this picture, I guarantee you, is VERY anorexic. She thinks about every bite that goes into her mouth, counting calories and hating herself every time she looks in the mirror. But thank goodness she takes pictures making everyone else want her life. Its comical how far my life falls from this ideal of a woman I have in my head. Let's face it, I don't ever have it all together. I'm the girl who spills food on her white shirts. every. single. time. I'm the girl who never quite knows when to stop talking. The girl who asks for ice cream in spanish instead of "ranch dressing on the side", because my spanish is...well...a work in progress. I'm also the girl who tends to like ideas, rather than reality, fairy tales instead of life and chick flicks rather than an action thiller.

Did you hear that men? That's right. I will no longer pretend I like action, comedy, and war movies. I don't. I also hate football. I am emotional. I would rather sit and talk for hours than do something "fun" and adventurous and I adamantly admire any girl who can rock climb with the guys. I would love to be that girl, but oh yeah, I am also scared of everything. Like needles, blood, doctors offices, heights, roller coasters, true love, and the bartender at work.

I am a woman. Not every woman. Only one. And this is how I was created. With flaws.

But I am also Strong. Determined. Loyal. Driven. Hard working. Creative. Passionate. Encouraging. A Daughter. A Sister. And holy cow, I can make a mean chocolate pumpkin bread. I am 1/2 introvert 1/2 extrovert...exactly. There's enough coffee in my system to put into question whether or not I have an actual IV drip flowing directly into my veins. I love camping, fires, marshmallows, building tents, and my new propane lantern I got for Christmas, but still haven't used. I have the most perfectly shaped eyebrows, one of my finer attributes I would say. Come on, agree? I desperately wish I was a music connoisseur (I had to look up how to spell this word), but my sister will always hold a brighter torch in anything media oriented.

Cool Friend: "Do you like this song?
Me: "Oh yeah, its one of my favorites!"
Cool Friend: "Who's the artist?"
Me: "Oh...I don't know really."

I could go on, but I'm talking about myself in an obsessive manner. My point is, I am only one woman and gosh, am I FULLY woman. Congrats to the "cool girls" who like rock climbing, football, crazy adventures, Wedding Crashers, Zoolander, and raunchy sex jokes. I'm not her. And ultimately, I don't want to be.

Message of the day: Be yourself. And it's ok to be a woman.

Who Lives on Drury Lane

2011-08-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man. The muffin man. Do you know the muffin man. who lives on Drury Lane?

I need to be honest. I do not know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane. However, I am quite positive that THIS is Drury Lane. As I live and breathe. And I am even more positive that THIS is the bakery from which the muffin man spins his baking magic.

A penny for your thoughts? I don't know about you, but my pennies will be going toward those buttery croissants in the top middle window.

Speaking of delicious things. Being the breakfast connoisseur that I am, it has been my summer mission to make a collection of the best places in Birmingham to have a nice breakfast. Drum roll please.

I will begin with the best. Never save the best for last. Always begin with dessert.

#1 Another Broken Egg Cafe
Location: Mountain Brook Village
Atmosphere: Perfect
Rating: Practically Perfect in Every Way
Mini-Tangent: Ansley and I ate here before church one Sunday. We ordered the Cinnamon roll french toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and bottomless coffee. I dearly love me and Ansley's breakfast adventures. And aren't the people you eat with half the rating? Can I get an amen?

#2 The Egg and I
Location: Off of 31. Close the the Galleria and the new GiGi's cupcakes.
Atmosphere: Almost perfect.
Rating: delightful
Mini-Tangent: I ate here with the other half of Ansley, her twin April (Ansley please never read this because you will kill me). This was me and April's good-bye breakfast before she left for her internship. I miss her. When I left, the man at the owner told me to have a good semester at Auburn and it both upset me and offended me for no apparent reason. No, I am not going back to Auburn, but bless the man's heart. He didn't know.

#3 Over Easy
Location: Off of 280 at the Hollywood Blvd. exit.
Atmosphere: Businessy and diner style
Rating: Expensive, cramped, yet strangely enjoyable and quaint.
Mini-tangent: Again, this breakfast adventure was shared by non other than the lovely Ansley Smitherman. The day we got breakfast here was the only day I have been late to work to date. We were discussing the differences between guys and girls for heavens sake. What did you expect?

#4 Continental Breakfast
Location: English Village
Atmosphere: French bakery
Rating: Disappointing.
Mini-tangent: this is the perfect place to buy fresh breads if you live in the area, but I don't. And I didn't want to buy a pastry at the counter and sit in such a cramped fashion that my arm touched a stranger. However, the company was nice. Erin (Hrbek) Dumas in fact, who was telling me about what its like to be married. Fascinating.

#5 The Pancake House
Location: 5 points
Atmosphere: a cross between Cracker Barrel and Ruby Tuesdays.
Rating: great besides the homeless crowd.
Mini-tangent: despite the homeless people that seem to find the same things special about the outside seating, pancake house is awesome. The portions are so enormous I almost cried, but the service is very friendly. Our server did have a crazy eye though. Not his fault. I ate here with my mom and paid for a meal of hers for maybe the first time ever in life. She is too good of a mom to not be treated now that I'm working.

So there you have it. Now go try out some of these places! Or invite me out for breakfast. K?

Perfect Satiation

2011-08-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Source: None via Karen on Pinterest

I am longing. Anyone else? I find myself constantly asking God for a schedule. Why don't his plans fit neatly into my day planner? Oh. Right. God really isn't interested in my schedule. Or time really.

So maybe we should stop asking God when the right time is. When our careers are going to begin. When we are going to meet him. When we are going to be skinnier. When we are going to have the money and time to travel. When we are going to be happy. And start trying to know him more. We really don't need our questions answered. We need to know God.

Source: flickr.com via Liz on Pinterest

We get little tastes of satisfaction. When we are falling in love. When we see a beautiful sunset. When we are planning a trip or thinking about the holidays. Tim Keller puts it best when he says, we are longing for something we remember, yet have never actually had. Wow.

I am longing for absolute satiation of my deepest soul longings that I have never actually had, yet am acutely aware of its reality. Give your life up again today. For the hope of complete and utter pleasure from the Tree of Life.

A Hole in the Brush

2011-08-08T08:02:00.000-07:00

Source: ottomanempire.tumblr.com via Kim on Pinterest

I'm twenty-one. Sipping on a cup of coffee and getting ready for work. Life feels hard these days. It's not just the working though. I'm joining USAA this week and getting my own credit card because Dad says I need to start "building my credit score." I just bought Max (my car) from my Dad for $20. The registration is now in my name, though I've had the car since I was 16 and I start paying my own car insurance in 2 weeks. Life happens really fast. So fast that it's tempting for a dreamer like me to become some extreme version of a pessimist/life hater.

But you know what? I have a job I really love. Seriously. I love waiting table. Who would have thought? I have a great side job as a wedding cinematographer. I'm plugging into a new church. I have friends. I'm learning that, yeah, this time in life is hard. But more importantly, every time in life is a different flavor of hard. This post-college time just happens to have a particularly strong after taste. Which, might I add, is NOT the same kind of strong aftertaste as coffee.

So how do we deal with it all? The whole "hard times in life thing."
Cry.
Just kidding.
That only helps sometimes.
But seriously...for starters. I'm learning to accept the fact that life will not ALWAYS be like this. Its a season. It will always be some version of hard, but this version will get easier. Also, it's important to find the small things that bring you joy and do then (or eat them). Like chocolate, exercise, coffee, and reading. If life is like brush, for heavens sake find the holes in it.

Also, I'm learning spanish. Again. Apparently 2 years of high school spanish and 2 college courses didn't exactly make me fluent like I thought. And all the people in the back kitchen are from Mexico. Hence, if I want anything such as, oh you know...plates. I have to know how to speak a different language. (What do you mean, "Can I havo a plato" isn't spanish?!)

Ps has anyone seen the movie Love Like Crazy? I need to know if its good and if anyone wants to see it with me even if it isn't. K. Cool. Bye.

Falling

2011-08-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Source: None via Nish on Pinterest

All I know is that I was falling. And I was alone. From where exactly I can't be sure, but it was very high, I was falling very fast, and there was no guarantee in my mind I would be landing safely. I couldn't catch my bearings and I couldn't even turn myself around to face the ground I was falling toward. Why I would want to I'm not sure. Maybe to see how far I was from the end? Yes. The end would have been welcomed compared to the physical and emotional wrenching I felt plummeting toward the ground.

My eyes flew open. A dream. It was only a dream.

This is what my sleep has been like lately. Its different dreams and different fears that come out when I sleep, but one thing unites them all: I feel like I'm falling. They say that the dreams tell the truth that the subconscious mind couldn't put words to. I'm not so sure. Maybe. Just maybe. Our dreams tell the truth our mind is too busy making excuses for.

How long does transition go on before you start to feel secure? Even scarier, will I ever feel secure? We aren't promised that. We are only promised today. This moment. To live and breathe and ask God how we can best serve him now.

So I'm going to keep falling. And maybe its a good thing. Cause there's no way He'd let me hit the ground. And I am definitely not alone.

Source: weheartit.com via Nish on Pinterest

How Many Candy Bars Can You Identify?

2011-08-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Source: joannagoddard.blogspot.com via Sarah on Pinterest

There is so much chaos, stress, and transition going on in my life that lately I just find myself needing a

good time. I found this little number and knew it would do the trick.

There is only one option

2011-07-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

Before we talk I need you to watch these 2 films. But prepare yourself. It may wreck you.

"How long will you hesitate between 2 options?

If Yahweh is God, follow Him.

But if Baal, follow him."

1 Kings 18:21

I Need You So Much Closer

2011-07-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking. After working all weekend, consuming 2 brownies, and currently sipping on an iced coffee, I've been thinking, what exactly is an epic romance? Or here's a better questions: What do we see in our heads for ourselves as an epic romance? Because there is not a soul out there that, if given the chance, would turn down an epic love story.

When I think of my own story, I tend to see small pictures in my head. These pictures involve candles, mountains, long breakfasts, surprise flowers, and a certain euphoria that can only be described as love. These images of course, are mostly images I see in the beginning. Then, of course, they would be followed by years of commitment, a "my turn to rock the baby" in the middle of the night, notes on pillows, taking turns cooking, and the everyday hum that comes with building a life together.

But as I began thinking harder about my ideas I couldn't help but wonder, does real life support the idea of an epic love? And if so, is the real thing vastly different than what I'm imagining? Oh right...yes. It is different.

Just what is an epic romance? I am bleeding out my ears with advice from people about dating, marriage, sex, and how to turn 3 pennies into the perfect wedding, but what is a real life epic romance?

Facts:

1. Life is not a fairy tale.

2. Life is hard. Life is painful. Life hits hard.

3. Life is beautiful. Life is redemptive. Life is...real.

Let me make a few suggestions.

1. Do not wait for a fairy tale/romantic comedy movie/a man who fills every category ect. He doesn't exist and you wouldn't want him to put that pressure on you. Who are you to demand that of an imperfect person?

-JUST AS IMPORTANT-

2. Do not settle. Wait for him. Wait for something Good.

So what is an epic romance? It looks different for everyone. And goodness knows I'm still learning. I guess I always will be. No relationship is the same. And guess what that means? Comparing is not an option.

Have a great week. Eat chocolate.

Just a Bite

2011-06-26T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hello from the food industry world. I take back my dream about wanting to open up my own restaurant one day. I can barely handle remembering my one liner at the ned of a meal about dessert. "Hope you saved room for our butter cake or seasonal strawberry shortcake." Offering dessert is my least favorite part of waiting tables. It always feels forced to me.

The question of the hour for Sarah Katheryn is, "So what are you doing after the summer." After going to Africa and back mentally, wrangling with every emotion in the book, and flipping aimlessly through every want ad in the Sunday papers for jobs, let me make myself very clear.

I. have. no. idea.

If you have any tips for how to live life, let me know. I have to admit, I'm kinda happy right now waiting tables. I love the people I work with, my managers, and food. It's great. Craziness of all craziness, I even went on a date last week. So what's the next step? I don't know. But right now, I am going to enjoy my butter cake togo and snuggle into a good book.

The Day I Started Saving Receipts

2011-06-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

Adult life. Its a shock. The one thing I keep thinking is, why didn't college prepare us for this? I finished working my first shift at CPK on Monday and walked out the door with an average of 10 bucks an hour. Granted, I was only working 3 tables, it was the lunch shift, and it was my first day, but still, not exactly makin' bank if you know what I mean. And it got me thinking. How much does my life cost? Yes, this is a question I should have considered before my adult life, but contemplating taxes, health insurance, and 401K plans are not exactly my idea of fun. So...how much does my idea of fun cost? Yes, that is a more interesting thing to consider.

A cheap lunch at firehouse or subway: $7.
A "nice" dinner starts at: $12.
Friday movie: $9.50.
Rented movie On-Demand: $4.99
Tall coffee at Starbucks: $1.75

These are just the weekly things, but what about the less frequent fun things I can't imagine life without? Like traveling. Oh gosh, I can't get started down that road. So today, I have been contemplating and compiling a list of free things I can do right now. Not to say I'm not going to spend money on fun things, but what are things I can do right now in Birmingham that cost little to no money.

Going to the Library: free.
Renting books from the library: free.
Dollar Theatre Movie: $1 (duh).
Going to Herdmont Park or the YMCA pool: free.
Watching Gilmore girls: free.
Mexican food: $3.25 burrito and free chips and salsa.

This is the list I have right now, which is slightly less than uninspiring. Leave some ideas in the comments section! I would love to know how you guys find cheap ways to have fun.

Pictures from Apartment 31. They don't relate to what I'm talking about. I just like the apartments :)

A Little Summin'

2011-06-14T16:48:00.000-07:00

Well excuuuuuse me. No one invited you here, hippo. Rude. What do I have to do to get a little privacy around here? Life has been crazy this past week including events such as a getting a job at California Pizza Kitchen in Birmingham, filming a fantastic wedding, and reading "Baby Proof" by Emily Giffin. So as I pick up the pieces of my mess, I have been treating myself to a bit of blogging inspiration. The below pictures have nothing to do with me, but they gave my head that euphoric feeling of inspiration. I found all these pictures from "All the mountains" blog.

Do you love it? There is a correct answer to this questions and the answer is yes. And next...

This picture is so fabulous I'm kind of at a loss for words. What does this make you feel? I would be interested to hear your comments? What is her life? Where does she work?

Hello Friend.

2011-06-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

All the summer-haters in the house say "yeah!"

2011-06-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

I have officially been at Starbucks too long. I think maybe 2 complete shift changes have occurred, but I am jobless, and therefore, must escape the confines of my home.

So what does one do when they are both a coffee-lover and summer hater? An iced coffee is the perfect cure. If you get an unsweetened iced coffee, add a packet of splenda and some cream, you have yourself a 35 calorie treat that can heal the worst of summer blues.

I know the thought of hating summertime is outrageous for most. Especially, according to my mom, those that fell in love during the summer; however, I did not. Summer in Alabama is nothing more to me than a time to feel super-heavy and hot. It is a time of beginnings, endings, and worst of all...transition. Yes, kind of pessimistic, but that's just how it goes for summer-haters.

I can't help picturing crisp, Fall evenings when the breeze is blowing and you think, "How perfect, if I only had a cardigan." THAT is the thought I want to have right now. Not, "Heavens to Betsy, someone save me from the 100 degree whether!" This is like, Sandlot bad. Any other summer-haters in the house? Leave me a comment!

Do you have Style?

2011-05-31T12:43:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of lovely things to share with you today. All involving style.
1. Check out this wonderful food style "Sunday Suppers."

This is a picture from one of the lastest posts. Breakfast is my very favorite meal of the day, so of course, I love this.

2. Please check out this youtube video of Bon Iver's song "Skinny Love." Ah! It is so vintage and moving. That girl in the video is looking at him like he is the greatest thing since sliced bread! So touching.

3. I love these shoes from J. Crew.

Can I buy them? This is the part where you say "No, not now."
I hope summer is well for everyone! I miss my friends. Its so weird not being in college anymore. I'm used to being around people all the time.

A Makeover and Summer Treats

2011-05-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

It's still me I promise! My blog was desperate for a new look. In fact, every time I got signed to write in my small space, I was instantly uninspired. This should never happen. You bloggers out there know what I mean. Your blog is your little happy place, not supposed to make you feel like a cheesy teen ad. I am not anywhere close to being done, but I wanted to at least give you a heads up...and treat you to some inspiration. So here is a bit of food style that I borrowed from Urban Scarlet. Her blog is my flavor of the week :)

One Very Small Girl

2011-05-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

I. am. so. small. This is common phrase heard between some of my closest friends. Most people don't get it and honestly, its is pretty weird. But something about us telling each other that we are small makes us feel good. It is possibly the highest compliment we have to offer another person.

But today, me feeling small has more to do with my place in the world then it does to my proportions. Me and my family got back from vacation yesterday. Disney world was just as magical as we all hoped, minus the explosive family arguments and walking an average of 8 miles per day (not exaggerating).

Here I am. I college graduate. I got my first alumni letter yesterday. I looked at it and felt nothing. Not older. Not nostalgic. Not sad. Nothing. Then I went to bed. Excuse me for feeling weird about my place in life right now and not needing an alumni letter to remind me.

This is just not how I pictured my life as a 21 year old. I do not have a job. I do not have a plan. I am not dating anyone/married. My career goals are spontaneous at best. I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in my home town answering e-mails and chatting with my friend Joseph while he is "at work." He has a job, by the way. I have my wedding photography/cinematography business, but if I wasn't living with my parents it would hardly make ends meet. I am flying out to LA sometime next week, but don't have a ticket yet and am not totally sure about the whole thing or what day I'm leaving. If I could sum up my life in one word it would be this: unknown.

What if our lives were not unknowns? What if we knew everything that would happen to us from this minute until the minute we died? Let me make myself clear, we wouldn't want that. I tend to THINK I want that, but I don't.

Now, do I want no plan and a plane ticket to LA as the most promising step? Not really. But I am learning that God has some very "interesting" ideas for my life that he simply will not allow me to predict.

So here I am. Trusting promises. Drinking coffee. Making movies. Taking pictures. And writing.

I. am. small.

So. small.

And this life is not about me.

And read this blog, Lauren Nicole Love. Especially the most recent post.

Annnnnnnnnd....I'm OUT!

2011-05-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

I am going to Disney World tomorrow!!!! This has been the most fabulous first week of being a college graduate. I read books like crazy, finished some editing projects, spent time with the fam and extended fam and yes, I'm using "fam" colloquially. I also, bought the book divergent, which if you haven't, you should. It was written by an RUF intern, which is fabulous. In 2 hours, I am going to watch my sister walk across the stage to graduate from high school #yes. God has spontaneously and frantically thrown job opportunities at me, so when I get back from Disney World, I will be flying out to LA for interviews. Yes, this is happening!!! So for anyone discouraged out there, I am living, breathing proof, God DOES show up. Actually he is always there, sometimes its just more obvious.

All to say, no free internet is Disney World, so no blog posts for a week. No internet is probably good for me. My mom reminded me that no internet is part of the "meaning of vacation." Fabulous haha. Have a wonderful week of summer, though its not feeling much like summer in here in Alabama. Love you guys!

On the nature of bathing suit shopping

2011-05-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

To discuss some personal matters, I found bathing suit and I have lost 3 pounds. Yes, I have been trying to lose weight and yes, I love that I actually have. Now, before you read this and start beating yourself up and/or hating me, understand that I am a normal person. I have not bought a new bathing suit in all 4 years of college, I love desserts, I skip workouts after agonizing about them all day, I HATE trying on clothes because its depressing, and have almost never had expendable cash laying around where I can just go out and get a bathing suit because it sounds fun. Which by the way, swim suit shopping would NEVER sound fun to me. So those confessions being out of the way, and after spending no less than 2.5 hours in "Everything but Water" putting on a fashion show for my mom with every suit in the store. And after asking the nicest store lady (already forgot her name) for different size after different size, I finally ended up with the perfect bathing suit and perfect cover-up.

Despite the happy ending, I left the store with more than I few thoughtful questions about the nature of women. Ok so here are some facts we know:

1. Models and celebrities in magazines have been photoshopped.
2. We will never look like these women because they do not exist.

If the above statements are true, why are we still having issues swim suit shopping, looking in the mirror or existing for that matter. Why do I want to lose the 3 pounds I have worked my still-flat butt off to lose and why am I not allowed 6 donuts a day? Ok, that was irrational, but you know what I mean! Why are we working so hard for something that doesn't exist? Who is telling us to be these women? Remember those old paintings with the chunky ladies and cherubs flying around? Was that normal back then? WHY ISN'T CHUNKY HOT?

If you have some answers, leave a comment. I would be interested to hear some insight from wise women about this topic. Now, if you will excuse me, its time for a cup of coffee and heaven forbid...a cookie.

What Lies Ahead

2011-05-11T18:34:00.000-07:00

So I graduated, which not only makes me an Auburn Alum, but also an official adult. It was weird. I looked in the mirror on Monday morning and actually looked older in a way no birthday has ever delivered. I walked the stage, packed up my room that night, and then, in an instant, Auburn wasn't home anymore. How does that happen? I was standing there in the doorway, looking at an empty room. Just like that. 4 years. And an empty room.

So naturally, I was left to ponder the institution of home as I drove to Birmingham. My car was pilled to the ceiling with everything I call mine, leaving me only side-view mirrors to look back. This, by the way, is something you should never do when leaving a place for the last time. Interestingly enough, Max's (my car) side-view mirror on the driver's side was stuck, restricting me from looking back and leaving me with only one choice: to look ahead. So that is what I am doing. I am looking ahead, unsure of where this crazy journey is headed, but ready to live it every moment.

There are some crazy things going on in my life right now. I wish I could just explain everything this minute, but I don't even know the half of it. I will say this, in about 2 weeks, I am flying out to LA. Crazy? Yes. Happening? Yes.

I am a graduate. I am an adult. And I am ready.

Dear Fork

2011-04-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

I found "Sapling Press" this morning and haven't been able to stop laughing from their unique cards. This is just one of my favorites. Go check them out immediately.

2011-03-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

I live here. Can you believe that? I love Auburn in the spring! This is the beautiful place I get to ride everyday on my way home from class.

So this weekend has been awesome. Last night was the Civil Wars concert in Waverly. Which by the way, the population in Waverly is 283. Yes. The venue was amazing and hilariously all I could think about was how much I wanted to do my next engagement shoot there. I'm addicted to filming.

Then I made cinnamon rolls this morning, which were delicious and had some quality room mate time. For lunch we went to Toomer's, which was my second time to ever eat there. The other time was with my mom haha.

Tonight, Abby is making dinner and we are having some friends over. Simple. But this is the kind of weekend I'm going to miss once I leave.

Have a happy weekend!

Shaped by the Journey

2011-03-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win." 1 Corinthians 9:24

Running. Some called it exercise. Some call it a sport. Some call it suicide. I, however, call it a journey.

There is something about training that feels like a gradual change from the inside out, like the slow and steady cleansing of things that make you feel weak and lazy. I'm starting to get why Paul used so many metaphors referring to "running the race," and "finishing the course." It's a long journey and just ain't easy.

Toward the end of last year, me and 3 other brave souls chose to register for the Oak Barrel Half Marathon. After hours of training together, cheering each other on, and believing there was no way we could complete our long runs, I am here today to say, anyone can do it.

Its so close I can feel it. On April 2nd, I will head up to Lynchburg, Tennessee with three of my best friends to run the Oak Barrel Half Marathon. Before spring break we ran our longest run ever: 12 miles. I think we would all admit it wasn't easy.

I've heard it said that "running isn't a sport" or "running doesn't take talent." I beg to differ! Running takes the determination. Running takes an appreciation for yourself. And running takes the understanding that no matter how much it hurts, you CAN complete the task and finish the course.

I have to say, if you must run the race, run with people you love. There have been no 3 girls better to beat the road with other than Leslie, Laura, and Abby. When you train with people, you spend hours and hours with them, sometimes just simply enduring weird body things. On our 12 mile run, we were together for 2 hours and 30 minutes...JUST RUNNING. Do you have any idea what kind of questions and conversations come from that kind of run? Haha. Then we were surprised by Cole, who ran up behind us and beat down a couple miles cheering us on. Around mile 11, we were joined by Elizabeth and Sarah Lawton who threw gatorade our way. I was struck with what a picture of community that run was. Here we are, all in this life thing together, and there is nothing like the support of people to encourage you affirm that It. Is. Possible.

And though our training is coming to a close, the journey continues.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame,

and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:1-2

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have completed the course."

2 Timothy 4:7

I am forty, going on fifty

2011-03-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

There are a few mentionable things that have gotten completely out of control in my life.

(Photo from AllTheMoutnains)

1. I like the today show, in a very magical and sudden way.

2. On Sunday, the first section I looked for in the paper was the business section and the want ads.

3. I like watching movies, as opposed to going out on the weekends

4. I prefer discussion, rather than adventure

5. I look forward to getting socks, cooking tools, and household objects for my birthday.

6. I consider how I will make money as opposed to where I will travel next.

AM I GROWING UP?! Excuse me while I scream and run naked down the street. Just kidding, I would never do that, but that doesn't set aside my panic! I can't grow up, OK? I can't. I have things to do.

Like, I still have to run in fields, and build treehouses, and play dolls, and get dirty, and go to Grandma's house, and hit boys so they'll chase me, and....

Do I have to be a big girl? I don't know if I can do this adult thing, though the Today Show is an indicator I do.

But guys...I still like ice cream cones with sprinkles.

Thirsty

2011-02-27T10:18:00.000-08:00

I can't remember driving home from church today. Its weird. I remember getting in my car. And I remember arriving at my apartment, but I was so lost in my head on the drive home I literally do not remember getting from point A to point B. It felt like watching a movie in fast forward while you're trying to get to the good parts. Sometimes I wish life could be like that.

On my drive home, lost in the tidal wave of transition my life is entering, God met with me. In the quiet of my '98 Altima, I felt the presence of God.

I am having to wipe away tears as I write this post, because for the first time in months, I am reminded, if God is for us, who can be against us.

For months I have been searching for the answer to my future. Where will I go? Where will I work? How will I live? Who am I? How will I be satisfied? I begged God everyday to reveal to me what his plan was for my life because I hated not knowing. The unknown is scary. Now I have a rough idea, and yet, I am unsatisfied.

As college students, we are searching. We are searching for the job that perfectly caters to our unique personality, spiritual gifts, background, socioeconomic status, talents, desires, and passions. By the time we graduate, we are ready to begin work on the Sistine Chapel. Who do we think we are? That job doesn't exist.

Its not about where I am going in three months, its about where I am now. God has enabled us to bring redemption into the exact situations where we are. Every city, job, and person in our lives exists to both enhance our strengths and challenge our weaknesses. Ultimately, the jobs we perform are for Christ's glory, not our satisfaction.

Only. Christ. Satisfies.

I find myself asking, "But God, I want to be used uniquely for who I am?" and he answers, "Beloved, you already are."

I move to Nashville in July to start Film school at NFI. By that time, I will probably have a part-time job and a new apartment to live in. This is a good thing to know, but I am plagued with a deeper longing. I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

"And let the one who is thirsty come."

Revelation 22:17

Back to my Roots

2011-02-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

Well kids, it appears thing are finally coming together. I thought I would be eternally drifting from idea to idea. Not anymore! Last weekend I spent Wednesday-Sunday in Nashville and fell back in love with Tennessee. I attended a 2 day film workshop by Shade Tree Films and got to look at the Nashville Film Institute. Looks like I'm headed back to my roots! If everything works out, I will begin Film School at the Nashville Film Institute in July.

Clockwork Films

http://clocworkfilms.blogspot.com/

Some Call It Studying

2011-02-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

I'm all set up and ready to write a paper, study, and finish a project. Just thought I'd do it in style.

Naked Honestly

2011-02-01T15:38:00.000-08:00

Last night, I dreamed that Ashton Kutcher and some girl were out to kill me. I was running away from him the entire dream. Now, I will have you know, I am a pretty darn good dream interpreter, but every now and then a dream comes along that's simply out of my league. I think we can safely say, this is one of them.

I've actually been having a lot of weird dreams lately. For example, there was the classic, "Lose my Camera" routine. I get this one a lot, where I either lose or break my camera because of some ridiculously irresponsible reason. I've also had one about forgetting one of classes and not realizing I was registered in it until several month into the semester. They call these "Out-of-Control" dreams, but THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. Come on, subconscious. I don't ask for much. I also had this really traumatic dream that my sister was stabbed to death and died in my arms. I bet you aren't supposed to say that one on a blog. Great. Oh well, kinda interesting right? Maybe its because I'm writing a paper on serial killers right now.

I just wish we could choose our dreams. I'm needing a good story idea for my creative writing class, why can't I dream up something with plot; preferably something that doesn't involve my sister's graphic death. But then again, if we could choose our dreams, it would take out all the mystery. You know the coolest thing about dreams? You can't control them. Its the one time when you can't guard your thoughts, and the ugly truth comes out. You see the way you really think about things in naked honestly.

Ps. I don't think Ashton Kutcher is out to get me.

There is a light that never goes out

2011-01-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

There is a light on the back porch of apartment D301. It flickers just often enough to make me want to pull your hair out with frustration. Sunsets are perfect on our porch in the winter. The leaves have abandoned the trees, leaving the view seemingly desolate, but in comparison to the bursting colors in the Auburn sky, the picture is perfect. Last night, right when I hit the chair with a cup of hot chocolate to watch the sunset, the light flicked. Constant. Flickering. Why light? Why?

Anxty

2011-01-12T21:17:00.000-08:00

Anxty is my new favorite word. But seriously. I can't stop using it. Its like a nervous habit you desperately want to break, but every time you look at your nails, there is just one more thing you need to bite off. That's what I keep doing with the word anxty. As a matter of fact, I was thrilled to learn that it is only a legit word on urban dictionary. It made anxty that much cooler.

There are just so many good uses for it:
Thinking about love...anxty.
What will I do with the rest of my life...anxty.
Who ate my cheese-its?...anxty.
Taylor Swift...anxty.
John Mayer...anxty.
Taylor swift and her song "Dear John" which is about John Mayer...anxty.

These are, of course, only the ways in which I have used the word today. Who knows what ingenious application tomorrow may bring.

Speaking of Gevalia Coffee...

2010-12-27T08:28:00.000-08:00

Were we speaking of coffee? If we weren't, we should have been. I woke up at 12 noon today with a sharp sensation in my head. Some call this a headache. I call it a caffeine withdrawal. However, the cure for my day-after-christmas ailment was not satisfied through ordinary means. With great power, comes great responsibility. So...I quickly passed by my freezer, home to a years worth of Foldger's coffee,"Columbian Roast." Ugh. Parents these days. No, this morning at home was different. Yesterday, among lots of fabulous gifts and treats, was a small condensed bag of "Gevalia French Vanilla Coffee." Miracle of miracles. Heaven on earth. Coffee, my first love.

Now I don't know about how many of you blog followers possess the added bonus of being a coffee connoisseur (I just looked up the spelling of that word because spell check has a learning disability). But if you are, you might be questioning my obsession with Gevalia. Unfortunately, haters gonna hate, but I suggest you try the french vanilla before you judge. End of tangent.

Disappointment City

2010-12-23T22:03:00.000-08:00

What happens when a creative project doesn't turn out like you expected? If you're me, you cry. Today marks the day when I decided that peppermint bark and tears are the best medicine to cure disappointment. At 4:30pm this afternoon, after being rude to my mom for no reason, and in the throws of an film project, I burst into uncontrollable tears. I literally cried nonstop for two hours. I haven't cried like that in...gosh, 6 months at least. Want to know why? The root of my frustration and disappointment was that I don't trust God. When the rubber meets the road, I somehow fool myself into thinking that my plan is far superior and more thought out than the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. Really, Sarah? Or "Sara" as my name tag reads at work.

I was mad at God today. I desperately want to be good at what I'm passionate about. I want creativity and beauty in my films that inspires others. I want approval at work, and from my friends. I want 100 pats on the back a day. I think I might invent an automated pocket encourager so that whenever I do the smallest thing it will say, "Wow, I'm amazed you thought of that. You're awesome. And is that a new shirt? You must be losing insane amounts of weight." Is a constant source of affirmation too much to ask?!

I was behind the register today at my holiday job. A man buying a blender and cookie cutters asked me if I was still in school and I said, "You know, I own a wedding cinematography business." He kept relating my job to the medical world which didn't make a lot of sense. He was overly interested in whatever I said so before he left, naturally, he handed me his business card with a number on it. Once he turned away, I looked to see what his profession was. I'm thinking, doctor? Nurse? Occupational Therapist?...It read "Licensed Acupuncture Therapist." Sweet. Nothing like being come on to by someone who wants to stick me with needles. My fav.

Score after score. But I'm not giving up. I'm learning that we fail more than we succeed. And thats OK. Because the more we fail, the more we will learn how to succeed. To be excellent at something takes time. Time for me to look stupid and have people think I'm crazy. Time for me to locked my keys in my car. Time for me to realize that just because every friend in life is engaged, doesn't mean I have to be. Time to eat my weight in peppermint bark and love it. Time to make some freakin' awesome wedding films and maybe even get paid a little for what I love. Time to learn that when something looks to good to be true, it probably is. Time for a "friend" at work to tell me I'm annoying because I'm happy. And most importantly, time to learn that God really does want my good. Not only that, but he cares that I was disappointed today. He cares that I drove through an hour of hwy 280 traffic just to get a 3 second clip from the botanical gardens. As I was yelling my compounding disappointment at my mom, she gently said, "Sarah, if God cares enough to save you for eternity, he certainly cares enough to give you passions for a reason." So, like usual, I am humbled.

And by the way, I will never EVER get acupuncture done to my body. Moved from L.A....who does he think he is?

Do you believe?

2010-12-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

I remember hearing reindeer feet hit my roof when I was seven. It was Christmas Eve and I couldn't sleep. I was not dreaming. I was not exaggerating it in my mind from lack of sleep. I heard reindeer.

When I was eight years old, I remember waking up on Christmas Eve. I turned to the clock that read "3:30," and then heard my door creak open. I was paralyzed. Was Santa at MY DOOR? I buried my head under the covers. After a few moments I peaked, and standing in the doorway was large man dressed in red.

When my Dad was forty-two, he took my sister to the mall to sit on santa's lap and explain an elaborate list of dolls and games. When he saw my Dad, Santa said, "Well Hi there, Chris. Its been a while." My Dad was shocked, probably more terrified than he will ever admit. Kelley was all too please to come home and explain to me that Santa was real.

Now I'm not saying Santa delivers presents to each child all over the world in 12 hours. I am not even saying Santa delivers presents. But I will say, Christmas Eve means magic, in some form of another. Do you believe?

Merry Christmas.

2010-12-20T23:27:00.000-08:00

Guys...I might be a bad blogger. That is a realization that is hard and sad, but a fate I might need to accept. Life is such a whirlwind of chaos right now. Chaos in all the fun ways. For example, I'm working at William Sonoma for the holidays and lovin' it. I crave peppermint bark constantly. I'm hanging out with old friends, spending quality time with now friends, and making new ones at work. No one told me that once you turn 21, you can have real friends that are 62 years old. Fun times, fun times. I'm having super weird dreams this Christmas break. Most involve graduating from college, or forgetting to graduate, or suddenly ending up 85 without a job haha...my poor subconscious.

I got a new Canon 60D camera and its beautiful. Brooke is her name. I'm shooting my first "real" short film tomorrow. Its actually more like a scene, but I assume it will go very well. Its just a little fun something.

I have no idea what I'm going to do after I graduate. I think I'll just move to Nashville. What a great city, you know? Well, that's enough rambling. Merry Christmas.

Sarah K

The Secret Santa Reveal

2010-12-03T10:33:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the night. The girls of Castle apartment D301 having been waiting with baited breath all week for this very evening. Tonight, is the reveal of our secret santa. We drew names before Thanksgiving break and it has been a waiting game ever since. We are making Homemade Peanut butter cups, treating ourselves to a fun christmas drink, and passing on the merriment with presents. I desperately want to post my secret santa predictions, but that would potentially reveal myself. I will resist.

Homemade Peanut Butter Cups
Ingredients:
Ritz Crackers
Peanut Butter
Baking white and dark chocolate
1. Sandwich the ritz with peanut butter
2. Dunk each peanut butter sandwich in chocolate.
3. Allow to cool for 20 minutes
4. Pass on the cheer

Merry Christmas!
Sarah K.

Poor Bob

2010-12-01T16:57:00.000-08:00

Who is this poor man? He looks stressed. And burnt out. And desperately needing Christmas break. Maybe he needs to not be STUDYING CONSTANTLY. Finals must have appeared overnight like a dark horse for him. Poor Bob. I'm curious what his hand is reaching for. I've been pondering on this curious observation for some time now. Is this a cry for help? Hm. Bless him.

And that horrible computer screen in front of him. They must be making his eyes hurt to the point of a headache. Maybe he ALSO had to go to the eye doctor and have multiple solutions forced onto his pupils against his will. The solution probably caused him an amazing amount of nausea, forcing him to plunge his face into this book. To wear glasses? To not wear glasses? That is the question.

I think the biggest problem with Bob is his shoes. They can't be Toms. And they are certainly not Topsiders. I don't recognize a brand label such as Nike, Adidas, or Reeboks. Bob, what shoes are you wearing? If anyone knows, please let me know.

I'm growing!

2010-11-29T14:42:00.000-08:00

Check out the new blog for my wedding film business!

Clockwork Films

"S'more of what?"

2010-11-17T15:13:00.000-08:00

(Fall of Freshman year 2007)

It seems like yesterday that our small group of 8 set out on our first camping trip as college kids. It was a beautiful weekend in October. All the leaves were changing bright shades of orange and red and we were just happy to be making memories. Its amazing how much I have to be thankful for. I look back on those days and can't help but smile. I looked toward my senior year in college back then, having no idea what life would look like. I love the way all of our lives have shaped up. The picture above is iconic of a very unique season in all our lives. It was the season of change. And it was back before A LOT of things.

It was back before...

James and Caroline fell in love.

Back before Will and Rebeka were engaged...

Back before I broke my parents grill...

Back before I knew who I was or what I was doing...

Back before Ansley and I were room mates...

Back before Caroline and I were not room mates...

We didn't know a lot back then, but we did know one thing.

We were on a journey.

To where? I'm not sure we knew.

But do we really ever know?

This coming Friday we will be going on our Fourth Annual Camping trip to Cheaha State Park in North Alabama. Our group has grown a bit since our freshman year...

I guess that's what happens when you live life. You pick up a few along the way.

Wishing everyone a happy thanksgiving break. Make some memories :)I know I'm going to!

Blessings,

Sarah Katheyrn

A girl named Me

2010-11-15T21:23:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl named me. This very frustrated little girl was SO SICK OF PHYSICS she thought she might cry her eyes out. The daunting Wednesday test drew nearer and nearer with nothing to show for it besides a very significant caffeine high.

On a more pleasant note, our fourth annual camping trip is 4 days away. I love tradition. Just gotta get through my last physics test.

God could not have hand picked more perfect room mates for me. They are a blessing each and everyday and deserve some acknowledgment for putting up with my daily antics. Just a few moments from this week:

1. I forced the unemotional Ansley to say she loved me out loud.
2. I Explained to Rebecca that the garbage disposal actually needed to have water running down it while running.
3. Drew names for roomie secret santa
4. Watched the 2nd Harry Potter movie together

So to Abby, Ansley, and Rebecca, I love you. And no, I will not become any less expressive after the 100th time you come up behind me and I scream.

Rules for Myself

2010-11-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

1. No Christmas music before Thanksgiving
2. No Christmas music before Thanksgiving
3. No Christmas music before Thanksgiving
4. Eat turkey
5. Don't say "Happy Turkey Day." Its "Happy thanksgiving."

Hope everything is going splendidly as the holidays draw near :)

Becca and Marshall

2010-11-09T07:58:00.000-08:00

(Rebecca and Marshall Kitron)

Here are the newly weds!

Their wedding video is just around the corner :)

Its quite a treat if I may say so.

Simply Sarah

Its all the same right?

When Words are not Enough

Single Serving Friends

Are We Living or Dying?

"Parenthood" in my NOT so "Modern Family"

Small Things

The 20-somethings' Syndrome

How to Never Get a Girlfriend

I Just Need More

This is Where We Are

Heaven in My Head

Today, I Got Stuck on an Elevator

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

Healthy detox: Day 1

The Objectification of Women

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty

The Reason

Things that are Not Cool for your Christmas Season

What Christmas is All About

A Letter from my 32 Year Old Self

Playing Pretend

A New York Snapshot: literally

What a Day to Visit New York

The Relationship Series: Acquaintances

Cats

Too Many Things and Never Enough

Happy Almost Thanksgiving

You are Not Alone

A Letter to my 3rd Grade Self

What Makes You Beautiful

Merry Thanksgiving Honey

After "the talk": let's get messy

It's Not You It's Me: how to have "the talk"

Wander Lust

Building puzzles

The Vegetarian Weekend

This girl's got jokes

Not for the Dinner Table

A Tisket a Tasket, a lovely little basket

Oh my stars. CHEESE.

Something Inside Me Clicks

Light Candles

Instead of Sheep: Night #1

Comfort Blankets Anyone?

The Ticket I Never Bought

Calling All Control Freaks

Building Leaf Houses

Sweaters, books, and wine

Running for Home

Simple Math

I'm Not Every Woman

Who Lives on Drury Lane

Perfect Satiation

A Hole in the Brush

Falling

How Many Candy Bars Can You Identify?

There is only one option

I Need You So Much Closer

Just a Bite

The Day I Started Saving Receipts

A Little Summin'

Hello Friend.

All the summer-haters in the house say "yeah!"

Do you have Style?

A Makeover and Summer Treats

One Very Small Girl

Annnnnnnnnd....I'm OUT!

On the nature of bathing suit shopping

What Lies Ahead

Dear Fork

Shaped by the Journey

I am forty, going on fifty

Thirsty

Back to my Roots

Some Call It Studying

Naked Honestly

There is a light that never goes out

Anxty